Pictures!

My Bike and I

















My Living Room

















4-year-old washing dishes

















Learning to brush

2006

woohoo! Next year is 2006!! (I think.. yea, pretty sure) decided to take a break from translating report to write this. Been translating a trip report into English for my team all morning.. :p

guess what! I’m 27 next year! Yeah!! Hmm.. wait a minute.. or is it 28.. hmm.. 1978.. makes it… 28!! Yeah!!! Sigh. Mental sums not very good nowadays mann..

gosh 28.. is dat supposed to be old or something.. and I haven even really stepped into the outside working world.. been serving bond for last few yrs.. fixed hours, hardly OT. Only did a few weeks in private.. dat was q good too.. haha cos I only worked 2.5 days a week (of cos okie lah)..

De other day, Wanping and I were jus contemplating we’re too old for Christmas countdowns.. done our fair share of countdowns.. next day too tired.. but I guess we’ll never get too tired of suppers.. especially if there’s a car.. unless next day need to work.. well. Next supper will have to be in 2006! Think I wont drive immediately after going back tho.. too scary.. after influence fr China roads.. (even as a cyclist/pedestrian)..

Things I miss:
Supper at night..
Bedok/ eunos(?) fish
Prata at Bukit Timah
Muen’s milo
Queenstown wo-tie
Cha shao baos
Black beauty kou rou bao! Whahah.. maybe jus the black beauty..haha ;p
Late night movies in an SG cinema
Walking around Suntec. (so lame rite)
Blading at east coast on Sat morns
Sitting in ECP Macs on a weekend morn
Rock climbing
Chicken wings in hawker centres.. though I never ate them..
My mummy’s steamed flower crab

Things I love:
Housework
Cooking
Time
Reading
Visiting
Taking a step at a time
Watching out for Him
Taking things slow
Enjoying the process.. when u hv time, even housework can be fun.. :)
Learning to be patient
Learning to have faith
Learning to build

Christmas

I went to a Christmas celebration yesterday and realized something for the first time. Jesus could have been born to any rich man or even a king. He chose to be born in a manger, not even in an inn. Surely it would not be difficult for God to wave His hand and create an empty inn room. He is the ultimate Creator. Jesus had no hospital, no doctors or nurses to wait on Him. He was born in a place where Joseph and Mary had no friends or relatives they could stay with.

Why?
I can only guess.

In a manger, with animals beside Him, how He was born would not be very different from the villagers I see, who give birth in their homes with/without the help of a mid-wife. Our L’d is one who chooses to identify Himself with the poorest people.

‘..so that they would know I understand..’ a whisper said.

Thank You Lord.















Picture of little village boy (Hani tribe)

Tropical fish don’t do well in Antarctica

Yes.. this is what I learnt in my past week’s travel. Esp when we arrived one foggy nite in a town and I stoned and didnt want to get out of the van..

Tropical fish don’t do well in Antarctica..

Brr..

JZM flowers

Just got back fr Honghe.. on the hillsides along all the village roads there were these bright yellow daisy looking flowers growing in abundance.. legend has it that they are known as Jiang Ze Min flowers..

once upon a time before he was well known, these flowers were not commonly seen.. but after he became very important in China, these flowers appearing in abundance all over the countryside. Hence they became known as Jiang Ze Min flowers. Hmm. Now dat Cherie is posting for me, the advantage is she knows how to put pics on blogs!!! whahah! Let’s try it out.. thanks dear.!

The Return of the Cute Pink Elephant..

I’m back! Courtesy of mademoiselle Cherie who has volunteered to help me post.. cos fr where I am.. I can read but cant post.. and in her words.. it would make it seem like I was more ‘alive’.. whahaha..!

Yep so I shall post all the inane things that I cant put on the updates cos it would make it v v long otherwise.. (its areadi v long) and I can practice my bad sms grammer here otherwise when I get back to SG I will be msging in complete sentences and faultless spelling.. *Yikes*

All right! Here we go.. :)

I love you..

in the afternoon.. tired feets.. went suntec comex.. wah its real big, felt a bit lost.. was looking for cf card n reader.. walked bk to funan challenger to compare price.. bought reader n adaptor there den walk back to suntec again to buy cf card (cheaper there after all..)..

on my way back to suntec (for the second time..!)..

thinkin/talkin to meself.." .. tired.. :p.. mumble mumble.. Father, tired leh.. mumble.. :p.."

"I love you.." .. a deep, kind of resonating, yet full of strength kind of voice said.. i knew that voice.. it was my Father's voice..

and though i had heard Him say this many times before in the past.. this time there was an extra kind of strength in His tone.. an extra reassuring joy and pleasure in our private fellowship kind of thing that arrested my attention.. like when a friend says something and your eyes meet and you both know each other understands more than what was merely spoken kind of thing..

and so.. in my own imperfect way, i said to Him..

" i love You back.."

and there was that moment again..

and the day suddenly brightened for me. :)

if u are reading this.. may the Spirit of God speak to you in your heart.. to know that God loves you dearly too.

at home

ran 3 errands jus now.. went to buy tamp to buy stuff. for a while looked like a lost cause.. went 2nd location and it was closed for lunch.. sigh.. was like thinking.. help, Dad! ..found wat i was looking for too in the 2nd location, so 1st 2 errands completed! and then went to collect ticket so finished all 3 erands in the end.. hee. thank You Father. it wasn lost journeys in the end..

sleepy now.. been sleeping at abt 2-3 am past few weeks! not a good habit to cultivate. but den nowadays the idea of sleeping before 12 seems unfamiliar to me.. uh oh.. mayb too playful areadi.. hee. a bit hyper lah.. :)

concerned for some of my friends. but just pray and trust in God.. He is God, the Lord our God. exercise faith. :) He is able to make all grace abound to us. Praises to our Father! :)

ps. sylvester where r u, add me on my new skype.. skype name is szeshan

especially to WanPing!

heh.. was musing..

i dont think i've ever told you that i'm proud of you. well, i am. for the choices u made, for the testimony you give for our Lord. for the person you have grown up to be. (perhaps its true, we are shaped partly by the choices we make.)

perhaps your family doesn really understand, and i know they mus give you q a bit of heartache w comments i'm sure they'll make now and then. but i know you are in good hands.. the hands of our Father..

and i know the job you have chosen for this time(fulltime at church) has areadi touched many lives and will continue to be used greatly by our Lord (in many ways you will not even know) esp for many at a stage of their youth, which will influence the choices they make for the rest of their lives (its an impt business ur in, yknow). so i pray u will continue to be of good courage in our Lord, and He will sustain and cause increase to the steadfast, yet compassionate, shepherd's heart you already have..

hows dis for a pass-it-on card..!

heh.. KS say maybe in China i cannot access blogspot, so i 'immortalise' this here.. keke

i'm so glad our Father let us be frens.. ive been q encouraged by you, yknow.. at many impt moments.. :)

who wat how why

................................................................................! oh mann...

jus one of these moments.

oh settled my insurance things today.! praise God. :)

blessed time at dental prayer meet today.. prayer and fellowship..! now feeling a bit hyper. heh.

fav song!!(now)

ooh!!! my fav song... (rite now)!!!!! here it is

http://www.createdtoworship.org/

go to music segment and click e song "show me Your face"

:)

Psalm 42:7
"Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls.."

i love dis verse..

“ When I said, "My foot is slipping," your love, O LORD, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul. ” Psalm 94: 18-19

came upon this verse in the website.. i like it too.. yeah.. praise the Lord! :)

gathering

had gathering yest.. farewell gatherings, 6 dentists at tea, and 20 plus church family at tanglin club..

yah, q touched by each person who was there and their friendship and fellowship, and prayers, gifts, encouragement, support..

i think the family of God is amazing, v blessed..

something i didnt realise abt gng away.. the feeling of loss.. tho i know i dont really lose my family and frens and there's email and all dat but yah, there's still a certain sense of loss in having to participate in a different way due physical limitations. will miss seeing them for service, dinners, and all the exciting things, victories, ups and downs in their lives..

yah, okie lah, jus recognising what i feel.. trust God to provide a family of God there too.. there's a verse that says anyone who leaves behind family(fathers, mothers etc), God will give back many fathers mothers etc.. yah, trust God that the family here is definately well taken care of too. :) actually am aso v thankful that before i leave, most things seem to be taken care of.. pple connected and in good hands.. Praise God!

haha, weighed my luggage again today, cos discussing w Ed et al yest find so strange my empty luggage cannot be 17kg.. and realised i had looked at e wrong scale, its 17 lbs, which is only abt 7 kg..!! and called travel agent who will apply ano 10 kg for me so my total baggage weight is now up to 30 kg..! phew.. thank God.. sometimes things are jus there and u cant see it!! maybe that's a bit like how the disciples walked and talked with Jesus, without recognising Him, for very long, then suddenly realised it was Him.

now gng thru some insurance stuff.. hmm..

baby hedgehogs!! (post corrected.. heh)

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/5852/698/1600/porcupine-baby.jpg

saw dis at van's blog.. baby hedge!!!! dey r so cute lor!!!

IBS

packing my room and came across dis note i thot id capture so i will have 1 less loose piece of paper lying ard..

todae's health byte..

for all my frens w symptoms of IBS (Irritable bowel syndrome) (ie V.)

IBS
symptoms include frequent diarrheoa, indigestion kinda of feeling, which V often had..

suggestions.
- eat more soluble fibre eg banana, potato
- decrease eating fats
- decrease on coffee
- decrease on dairy products
- eat slowly w small freq portions(does not mean snacking! heh)
- decrease on chewing gum (causes u to swallow air)
- try not to gulp food down (causes u to swallow air again)

danger food (triggers)
- red meat
- dark meat (eg poultry)
- alcohol
- soft drinks

website : www.aboutibs.org

yeah hope its useful mann.. well thot V had a lot of the habits they advised on.. hmm mayb dats why he oft had er.. digestion prob.. =p.. hope u feeling better these days..!

5 loaves and 2 fish

first want to thanks God for my medical checkup, yah retest was sort of ok, no more protein but has sugar instead! doc said it was ok n passed me. hee. :)

thank God for the brother doc who waived my charges..

God spoke to me and gave me new understanding abt a verse.. actually it was a word to pray for someone, but i learned fr it too. and she later confirmed the word that He had spoke to her abt it earlier. (cool! praise God. (:) He said, in the whole mountain of people, 5000 men(not even counting the women and children), it took a boy to give Jesus his five loaves and two fish. a child. God said not to look at/down on ourselves, but to look at Him, and that He only looks for a willing heart. Men of great talent but who have no God, it is no use.

yah, thot dat was q cool. :)

me gng bintan tomo w Wanping! tues to thurs! she been working v hard! hee. pray for a blessed time. do sense the spiritual battle is ongoing, especially during this time of yr (7th month). lets be vigilant n aware..

Lord i also pray for my mummy for healing of her glaucoma situation (discovered today). please keep her in peace and her eyes on You. i speak Your healing upon her eyes in Jesus Name. amen. thank You, Lord.

camomile

here's what camomile looks like.. courtesy of vandice's blog.. hee.. was jus drinking it yest n wondering wat e flowers look like..

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/5852/698/1600/camomile0861.jpg

jus bought my laptop.. acer aspire! :) yaay.. thank God for nice salesman who threw in free mic/headphone, wireless mouse and upgrade memory.. he would have thrown in the power surge protector but his store no more.. thank God for Wanping and Kenneth.Yeo who went w me.. and mummy who drove by to pick up the laptop while WP and i went to sim lim.. :)

dunno.. now need to fix it up.. im not really comp savvy(understatement).. sniff.. Dear Lord, please help me..

oh dis morn i booked e ticket to Kunming for 6th sept.. Thai airways to Kunming..

sometimes flashes of how i wld miss many things esp pple(u know who u r), n angel.. well.. try not to think so much.. .. sometimes wonder if dat equates to suppression.. but i know dats my mind's way of coping.. and at suitable moments.. it will let itself be sad for a while.. its okie..

got my july pay.. calculated in my favour.. hee. am thankful for it and the many nice pple i met..

met L for dinner jus now.. :) went to look at luggage at carrefour.. not bad.. abt $43. will go back to get it next time..

my visa advert..
laptop:$1780
thumbdrive: $65..
to go where He leads.. : priceless! :)

what wil happen when i go there.. i dont know.. but no matter what does or does not happen.. a recurring thought.. it is a privilege to give my time to Jesus.. no mushiness here.. it really is.

its 2 again

ahh!! 2 again..!! been sleeping at 2 or 3 am every nite since last week.. its tiring mann.. i pray i will have good sleeping habits.. (ie 11pm)

sometimes i get tired of sorting out with all these prep to go china.. seems like so many? and some need to do a few times? sob.. sometimes i feel tired.. and also wish i could be at home more..

pray will settle laptop tomo.. and suddenly felt that i needed to keep in prayer while im preparing to go.. so that things will go smoothly and my time will be more efficiently spent, leading to less stress and strain in time.. yah.. its a vicious cyle when u dont keep in prayer.. like my medical checkup.. need to go twice when once could have sufficed.. yes.. i sense my Father is reminding me. the battle is ongoing..

9/8/05

tired of thinking of things to name my blog. perhaps shld jus put e date fr now on..

yest and today were fun. went to marina bay with students, frens.. heh.. it was great.. found it very fun! when the stars appeared and the students, audience got q excited and screamed and waved.. heh.. perhaps i would hv made a good groupie? watever it was, their enthusiam made me chuckle, and i enjoyed being w them.. keke.. blessed too by bro GJ who gave me, Lit and R a ride home.. thanks mann. oh and there were fireworks at midnite too

today went to watch Charlie and the chocolate fact!! i love Roald Dahl books!!! the movie was fun and imaginative(like the book, tho i like the book more!) haha.. some parts were really funny.. we wanted to watch the fireworks.. unfortunately, were a bit slow and not sure where they would come fr.. got distracted by a few fr the padang..

next time know areadi.. mus go to Fullerton front.. aiyah// guess we jus missed the thing by a few minutes.. can be q frus when u can hear the sound of it but are blocked by buildings.. den again.. made me think of how, in life, we can be so near yet so far.. like how sometimes we may think we are near enough to God, but we jus missed it, and we miss Him and His Splendour and Glory.. and wat a vast difference that makes. and the sad thing is we may not even know it.. until in grace, our hearts are enlightened one day.. how can we search for something we dont know we lack.. Dear Lord.. give us grace.. and mercy.. that we may know.. yah... also made me think of the part of the bible where it talks abt the gnashing of teeth for those who are too late and locked out forever.. ..help us Lord.. help those who are lost be found..

God is a God of abundance

was counting jus now.. and i realised that God has already raised 6 mths of living expenses for my china trip through work bonus, shares and donations..! Praise God! yah.. wat is there to say sometimes, except, Praise God. thank You Father.. i know You care.. yah.. and i appreciate my friends who have come up to me and expressed their wish to support financially.. the heartfelt support in the gesture is really q priceless. Another expression of the amazingness of God..

with regards to the trip, i had always felt He challenged me to believe in Him to raise the full sum and more.

"Am I not the God of abundance?"

Malachi 3:10
Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.

yeah.. my God is really really cool.. :)

at rest

unemployed?

sounds like a bad word rite.. heh.. but i'm kinda enjoying it leh.. hmm perhaps at rest is a better word.. xiu xi shi wei le zou gen chang de lu..

anyways, decided not to work till i go china.. cos got many things to do.. (as written in last post)

hmm.. well, thank God for the HK trip.. all went smoothly, got the visa q fast.. enjoyed hanging out with my cousin, and my JC fren Fanny and Xianhua! good to see Fanny again (she lives in HK) :)

walked like crazy in HK.. mann its a big place, tasty food, yumm.. kinda made me realise Sg is a small place.. a small but lovely place.. was glad to be home too..

slept at 3 am for 2 nites aft i came back(fri midnite).. went blade w Qx and fren on sat morn.. heh.. i like siao onn.. anyways, here i am on a mon nite typing away and prob gng to sleep late again! oh no, mus not make a habit of this..

woke at 11 today! went for lunch w WP and met Jen later b4 cell at nite..

tomo go bank, then hang out w SA and cell! den supper w WP and Muen (yes u can tell him i mentioned him in my blog. keke) :)

wed supposed to meet TCSI in afternoon then.. dinner w E.

thurs.. lunch w Angela! and maybe meeting CL?

fri.. morning at cerebral palsy centre, den evening festival of praise at SIS

cant q believe how the week schedule fills up so fast.. thot would be hard to find things to do in the day/pple to go out w.. heh.. well, Father i hope i will learn cooking before i go.. and prac guitar too..

listening to a chinese song now.. the lyrics go.. the most beautiful blessing in this life.. is to know you Jesus.. yah..

Thank You Lord.. for the blessing to know You..

TCSI

ooh..! got email couple of days back..! accepted by TCSI! need to meet up one or two(?) more times for briefing.. think thats all.. so i can set a date.. was thinking of late aug or early sept.. think sept seems more likely... perhaps 1st week of sept..

then can do stuff like insurance, open bank account.. think abt how i want to do the money thing and the email thing.. write my prayer letter.. spend time at home w family and frens.. oh and need to buy camera.. think abt wat i want to pack.. settle lodging there.. and perhaps shadow my maid a bit and learn cooking..

seems like a lot to do areadi..! :)

i want to thank God for provision.. cos according to my mom, the shares she bought for me increased in returns again or something.. and my part time work at private went well.. a few nites had good returns too.. was q fun too.. moving fr place to place, meeting new pple in the clinics.. plus the nite i met Yihui.. ( she made appt w me and we both didnt know she was coming to see me!) pleasant surprise.. felt God was smiling to Himself as He planned it.. hee.!

i may even have a roommate.. LY email says a lady foreign staff there has an apt w 3 bedrooms that i may be able to stay w her temp or perm while i'm there.. :) honestly, dear Father, i hope to have a room mate..

me going to Hongkong on mon! 25th to 29th July, to make visa.. thankful i called the visa company today.. then learned mus bring my old passport that i had jus renewed, cos den hv proof of entry, or else can only make 6 mths visa..

gng HK for first time. staying w cousin.. mayb alone when i reach.. cos cousin prob working.. hope to find my way ard on touchdown and till wed when Xianhua will join me.. feel a bit apprehensive actually.. but ya.. dear Father, thank You that You are with me always.. when i remember this, i feel better about it.. cos God brings hope, and its not a wishful kind of hope, but a strong certainty kind of hope.. yah. i'm so blessed that You are with me, Lord.. i'm so forever blessed.

later on in the nite..

haha.. later on, my mysterious sms person sent me a verse..

1 John 4:12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

yah.. Father did His use-diff-pple-to-tell-u-the-same-thing thing again.. i felt it affirmed the word He gave to me.. so cool.

there more cool stuff nearby as i looked it up.

1 John 5:14 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 15And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.

confidence in answered prayer.. as we ask in His will..

1 John 15:8"My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples.

i loved this verse too.. cos it says to me that God is pleased that we should bear much fruit and bring glory to Him.. dat means, God wants us to bear much fruit.. and also that as we are close to Him and remain in Him, fruitfulness is a natural thing that happens, for my God is a God of fruitfulness.

liked this one too.

1 John 5:3 For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments; and His commandments are not burdensome.

am glad God promises His commandments are not burdensome. sometimes i look ard me and my fellow family of God and feel they seem so burdened as they serve Him. so i'm glad that this is not how God intends it.

1 John 5:4 For whatever is born of God overcomes the world; and this is the victory that has overcome the world--our faith.

liked this one too! self explanatory.. :)

love one another

was reading yest at work when i had a moment. read John 15 (service verse) and had new revelation.. yah, cos alwiz thot these verses sound good but don really know what they mean.. thank You Father.. :)

conversation went something like this..

John 15:5"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

i want to bear much fruit too! but God, what does it mean to remain in You..?(??)

John 15:9 "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love.

ohh.. so i remain(abide) in You when i obey Your commandments.. hmm.. what does it mean to obey Your commandments. so many...

John 15:12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

ooh.. okie.. so to sum up.. it is to love one another, up to being willing to lay down life.. thus, we will bear much fruit when we love one another.. yah makes sense, cos i remember another verse somewhere dat says 'this is how the world will know You are my disciples, when you love one another.' okie.. now i think i understand this verse better. :) wat does it mean to love one another.. wah think this one mus take longer to think...

the lion will eat straw

this verse happen to come up in conversation recently.. so i looked it up.. thot it was really cool.. and mind blowing..

Isaiah 65:25

The wolf and the lamb will feed together,

and the lion will eat straw like the ox,

but dust will be the serpent's food.

They will neither harm nor destroy

on all my holy mountain,"says the LORD.

its about what heaven will be like.. and as i read the verses preceding it, tho i cant quite explain why.. i found it comforting too..

can you imagine.. the lion will eat straw. if that can happen.. what else cannot happen..

bonus!

yep, got my last paycheck from NDC.. and they gave us our bonus for the first time this year! normally they dont give to officers leaving the service, u'd have to stay till july for that.. so this year, they changed the rules.. so cool.. (re: my posting weeks ago when i was debating whether to extend and stay till july for the bonus). praise God! He is Jehovah Jireh..

yeah.. jus feel blessed and that God is finding ways to give me money..

thank You Father..

new days

jus finish 1 the forms that i need tomo.. tired..

well.. glad.. thank You.. was a bit intimidated by the questions.. so prayed.. then just did it.. eg what 3 experiences had the most dramatic impact on your life etc.. 10 of such qns..

still have other forms to fill.. tomo first interview with TCSI side.

tonite working 6-9 pm at tiong..

its a bit unsettling not to hv a routine.. but.. ok la.. stressful moments seek God.. He will see me thru.. He promise He will catch me..

jus feel so much in my mind? unprocessed from the gateway city convention.. awesome anointing as the youths fr the cities shared abt their country, church and youth situation and their prayer requests.. though the sharing was simple.. some with locally accented english.. but their passion was evident.. and the anointing of God was strong as we prayed for each nation.. sometimes cry also don know why crying.. but.. yah loh..

hmm..

last day of work

last day of bond today..! hee. in these 3 weeks before i go HK, wan to

1) prac guitar
2) blade
3) read finish my 4 books
4) go out w esp my sm2 frens
5) volunteer w Dr T at the Purple apple place

hope to complete the TCSI side of procedures too..

will be working part time abt 3 times a weeks as well..

suddenly unemployed also like v busy.. hmm..

so blessed

went for dental prayer meet at Dr C's jus now.. abt 20 of us.. so good to see Hsun T.. he's a dentist missionary in Africa for the past few yrs.. think it's 8 yrs.. He gave me a chinese bible! which i didnt hv yet.. :) .. then Prof asked me to share abt my china plans after Hsun T had shared.. and then a few of them prayed for me.. was q touched.. and though i only met some of them for the first time, i could sense their sincerity.. think it's only God that can do this..

i'm really glad of prayer support that i sense He is preparing for me..

i sense it.. the way things have been tying up together.. that He is making straight my paths.. its the most amazing thing..

one expressed interest in financial support.. i realise when friends/people come and tell me they want to support me financially, what i appreciate most is the care and support behind the gesture.. yah.. just feel that God is amazing with really really big shoulders.. i pray that it will be a blessed time there..

Hsun T prayed many spot on things in my heart.. that i'd encourage the workers there.. family.. unity.. Dr Y was v affirming.. many kind words.. yah.. Thank You Father..

and as Hsun T shared abt his challenges in Africa, w his 3 boys, aged 8, 9, 10.. dear Father, praises to You.. as we see how You see them through.. and their faith in You..

God is good. Praises.

love the song on weiwei's blog..
http://weiwei-jesusgirl.blogspot.com/

wanping say its hillsongs-kids..

think God is really good.. prayed that all would go smooth on Jen's wedding.. it was not raining at the zoo when we had outdoor solemnisation.. it only poured when all the guests were in the indoor hall for lunch.. and we were saying how good it would be if it stopped raining after the programme, then the guests could go tour zoo as planned.. and that's what happened.. and God reminded me;"remember? you said a prayer the other day.." it felt like He smiled on us..

also blessed when Jiahui prayed for me yest at cell. she said, God wants me to know He is mindful of me.. found it reassuring.. how can i describe it.. except to say it was a Spirit-filled prayer..

also felt that He is finding means and ways to provide for me financially.. like resources come from unexpected places.. almost like.. He blesses what i touch, and what touches me.. mum bought some shares on my behalf recently.. and soon after they announce the share will dunno what lah(cos dont know share market jargon) but boils down to something good and they give u extra returns..

and today my colleagues say this yr they will give us (who resign in June) our performance bonus, which is something they dont usually do, but only started this year.. reflecting on my earlier consideration to extend my job for a month to get bonus (which i decided not to, in the end). i think God looks after me.. not just financially, but i guess what is even more precious is the manifestation of His Presence as i witness His blessings.. just like in miracles, what is precious is not just the miracle, it's hearing God say"I am with you. I am present."

also praise God that i have been able to contact someone who is arranging for me to work part time in his clinics, whilst i prepare to go china.. yah.. he was q pleasant about it..

did an op yest.. called patient after to see how he was, first time i called patient.. he was okie. felt good to administer after-op care though.. perhaps i should make it a habit..

tired.. will go rest.. attend wedding dinner later..

suddenly..

does anyone really care..

i know got lah.. so.. guess that means i'm jus whining.. maybe tired after day of swimming..

i guess..

more dolphins

went swimming w dolphins today w parents! at batam. day trip. the dolphins were v cute and friendly.. they jump and click and kiss you.. and they do somersaults and catch ball/hoops.. we also held onto their fin and they will drag u along the water.. its q cool. abt $160 each i think.. dad's treat.. they are sooo cute.. and friendly like puppies, they will surface when they see you and follow u around in the enclosure..

www.dolphinslodge.com

wonder who will go HK w me.. will i go by myself.. hmm..

more forms to fil up again.. recieved the main one fr china today.. many qns.. Father..

duckies

yaay! my cousin replied, i can stay w him when in HK.. his wife is overseas.. he says lots of space.. startin to get excited abt gng..

last day of work soon.. 30th june.. thinkin of locum.. but also don know.. only for a month.. perhaps on some morns.. in case i get bored.. and everyone is working cant go play w them either.. den earn pocket money too? or jus rest at home, finish my books i'm reading halfway..? think i could devise a decent timetable.. can go blade, prac guitar too. hmm.. need some more thot..

the other day.. decided to pray that at the right time, God would help him meet the right person.. and he would have a family of his own.. cos i know thats one of his best dreams.. and he really loves children.. i think he'd be a good father..

okie.. gtg for now..

Mort the mouse Lemur

watched madagascar the other day.. Mort is soooo cute!! ah!!

ooh.. KS finally has a blog.. check it on my link..

need to plan my Hongkong trip to make visa.. pray i will not procrastinate. last day of work is 30th June. funny feeling being unemployed..

stuff to do.. off on mon! :) and on 23rd, go w mummy and daddy to batam to swim w dolphins!(mummy bday on that day too)

wonder if i can go china by late july.. its already 17th june.. Dear Lord.. keep my eyes on You.

back

back fr cell retreat! it was good. esp appreciate the sharing of my fellow sisters-in-christ.. :)

we did overview of book of Joshua.. for once, now i understand it better as a whole rather than in bits and pieces of blessed portions. glad.

noticed something cool in my chinese-english bible.. each time, before the chinese word that represents God ("shen"), is written, there is a blank space. eg. For (blank space) God so loved the world.. its like a special reverence for Him.. so cool..

LY wrote back to tell me how to make visa in HK.. wah.. sounds a bit like maze.. cos haven been to HK before.. jus need to go to this place.. heard HK is q big.. shall check which part it is in..

Thank You Father. ;)

its late

its late. 1221. jus stoned for an hour. literally. okies. stoned with my Father. He asked me. "do i believe He can catch me.."

how to answer.. now thinkin.. perhaps it can also be seen as a challenge..

how do i get there.. can i take it.. really. there are so many things i dont know.

He promise He'll be there.

exodus 14:14

hmm. there's this person/system that smses me bible verses from time to time.. usu late at nite (like now). have tried on occasion to call back on the number, but either no one picks up, or there was once a lady picked up and insisted she had not smsed me.. so eventually i jus left it at that..

well i jus received an sms again and here's the verse:

Exodus 14:14 "The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."

yea.. a verse God spoke to me jus 3 postings ago.. q stunned.

well also went to visit Q today.. good time hanging out and shared the story of Jesus with her.. she said she would like to know more.. Jus glad for the opportunity to talk with her and spend time tog.. :)

dolphin

home early on a sat nite.. at 930? dunno.. gues no one can really b with you all the time.. sigh.. but was real fun hanging out w Q today. we went blading.. which is something i do every other weekend.. but first time w her. and she came for service for first time too. many pple not ard today, some at TCT, some overseas.. but it worked out alrite. den can spend some time w her aft service too. :)

nice hanging out w D too. the weekly 2 hr prayer meetings.. had good time with J. thought it would be xiong.. but, it was fine in end.

tryin to watch for His timing.. not be faster, not be slower.. not be anxious..

a thot. D asked me why humans mus have emotions.. i told him God has emotions.. and God can cry. n i realised. its true.. Jesus cried when he was on earth.. He cried for us.

what makes God cry.?

Luke 19:41
As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it..

in all of heaven and earth.. i think only we can make God cry.. who are we really.. that God would cry over us.. and give all He has.. His only Son.

butterfly

thinkin.. and it hit me.. been talking to God about prayer in this period.. asking Him how to pray effectively.. cos dunno why had been jus feeling rather vague about prayer.. perhaps cos been praying less than i used to for a long while.. anyway, hit me that pastor has been talking abt prayer for the past 2 weeks in service.. so, feeling glad that the God i talk to at home when im alone is the same God that speaks to pastor.. yah. may sound abstract.. but i find it comforting and touched, and thankful to my Father when i realised it.. sort of like He reminding me that He is with me..

one of the things pastor mentioned was the first line of the Lord's prayer.. "our Father.. hallowed be Your Name.." to pray first by acknowledging God (our relationship with Him) and giving praise to God.. yah.. so i tried it today.. and tho it sounded strange at first.. as i praised God and reflected on His wonder, on the Person that He is (eg. 'praise You Father, for Your faithfulness, for Your creation, for Your majesty..").. i felt better and more aligned with Him even before i had started praying for any agenda that i had.. its like.. you see what a wonderful Father you have.. and the things that trouble you will take on its correct perspective and become smaller.. reverence, awe come in.. and i remembered Jesus and thankfulness came in too..

reminded me of years ago when i had done the same.. yah, used to pray like dat too yrs ago.. hmm.. amazing.. no wonder God ask us to start praying like that.

sigh.. need more discipline mann.. awareness of the battle within.. indeed, the good i know to do i struggle to do.. i know if i look to the Spirit, He will give me strength.. need to decide to look more often..

its been a long week.. activities.. prayer meet, dental talk, cell, out w frens.. yah.. glad to take it slower? friday.. felt a bit down.. mayb tired.. watching too much tv.. a couple of frens had stress yest *sayang*.. was a bit frus w ano fren today.. yah.. not really sure wat to do, do more, do less, keep praying?..

got a drink jus now.. ice cube fell and poked my foot and there was a small cut.. can u believe it.. i was like.. oh mann.. blood came out and so went to room then remembered i may feel faint during first 10 mins of seein my own blood (when i injure myself).. oh mann again.. then hypothesised maybe feel down cos 5 pm and i'm hungry..

yah.. now at home typing and thinking.. glad to be home to rest too.. LY sent me a cd..

exodus

went out w the popiahs today! and we took neo prints.. keke.. its real cute.. and came across the coolest verse.! Exodus 14: 14

Exodus 14: 13-14
13 Moses answered the people, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.

14 The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."

Wow..

Psalm 50

for KS: the cattle on a thousand hills is verse 10.. :) the rest i put down cos.. thought it was really beautiful to me too..

Psalm 50: 1-15
1 The Mighty One, God, the LORD, speaks and summons the earth from the rising of the sun to the place where it sets.
2 From Zion, perfect in beauty, God shines forth.
3 Our God comes and will not be silent; a fire devours before him, and around him a tempest rages.
4 He summons the heavens above, and the earth, that he may judge his people:
5 "Gather to me my consecrated ones, who made a covenant with me by sacrifice."
6 And the heavens proclaim his righteousness, for God himself is judge.
7 "Hear, O my people, and I will speak, O Israel, and I will testify against you: I am God, your God.
8 I do not rebuke you for your sacrifices or your burnt offerings, which are ever before me.
9 I have no need of a bull from your stall or of goats from your pens,
10 for every animal of the forest is mine, and the cattle on a thousand hills.
11 I know every bird in the mountains, and the creatures of the field are mine.
12 If I were hungry I would not tell you, for the world is mine, and all that is in it.
13 Do I eat the flesh of bulls or drink the blood of goats?
14 Sacrifice thank offerings to God, fulfill your vows to the Most High,
15 and call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me."

hmm. touched.

my sis jus helped me download my kunming retreat photos onto her laptop and CD.. cos cant find the USB(wats a USB?) on my desk top..

then.. she came to my room, gave me a cheque and said it was to prepare for my china trip.. and i haven even started to write my prayer letter yet.. well.. we've never even spoken abt my trip before.. have to admit.. i'm touched.

job

sent in my resignation letter yesterday.. last day of work, 30th June..

at first thinking dunno want to extend for a month or so for the bonus, think think think.. then thought in the end.. just resign. if its time, its time. trust God. remembered Ps Mak shared God asked him to resign and join church last time at the time when it was a bull run for e stockmarket(where he was workin).. he left at a time when he could have made a lot of money.. the cattle on a thousand hills belong to Him.

he who had gathered much had no excess, and he who had gathered little had no lack..
Exodus 16:18

thought this was such a cool verse on how we may rest in our Lord..

Kim Seng came back on wed (25th may)... welcome back! :) gng back to USA on the 12 or 14th june. he bought DFS XO for dad, which i paid him later for of cos.. thanks for thinkin of my dad..

star wars

went to watch star wars today! smsed a few pple and found dear Xianhua who could watch it today w me. :) quite fun lah.. hee. Yoda is v funny.. but Anakin became bad. oh dear.. and the very person he wanted to save was lost as a result of his deceived choice.. if only he had waited/talked more to his teacher..

went shoppin after dat.. need to find a pink dress for J's wedding.. all the 'sister's' promised to wear pink.. how to not look like birthday cake! anyway had looked for one previously to no avail.. so today sent a prayer up to God that i would find one fast cos parking coupon only left 1/2 hour, plus dont like to fritter too much time on shopping.. thankfully, found it! and only had to try 3 dresses. Thank You, Father, for caring even for such small things in my life. yah. thank You for caring.

okies, gng to play chess w P now..

=)

dear Lord, i had a lot of fun last weekend, including yest when i was on leave. enjoyed hanging out with my friends. and been talking to Wanping more recently too. hee. then today a bit sleepy. maybe cos play so much. but wan to thank You. thank You also for my clinic and all the nice people in it. esp my super dental asst, who looks after all of us and is v hardworking.. thank You for today when i was sleepy but also hungry, den couldn decide whether to go cookhouse or sleep, and lunch arrived early so i didnt need to walk out anymore. den i noticed it was pouring outside.. felt Your care.. im meeting Ps on thursday.. hope it will be a productive time.. some things happened to some of my friends.. Father, i pray You will protect them and walk them through their situations, and make good things come out of it. for whatever was meant for evil, God can turn it around for good.

Genesis 50:20 ('message' version)
Don't you see, you planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good, as you see all around you right now--life for many people.

jus believe

Lynette once shared tt K told her this. about the cell/ministry. our job is not to.. but just to believe God. our job is to believe God, for the cell, for the pple etc. thot it was so encouraging. so wan to remember it.

happened to call L today, turns out we both read the same passage for devotion time today. how cool its that mann.. one of the verse that struck me was ' Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life' (Jn 4: 13)

also read abt the royal official who asked Jesus to heal his v ill son. thinking.. he was a royal official.. he mus hv had to put down his pride to come and implore Jesus to heal his son. and yet if he hadnt, his son would have died. and after his son was healed, he might have dismissed it as coincidence(?), but he didnt. he and his household believed. and they were saved, not just the son but the whole household. not jus physical, but restored to health in the spirit as well. it is so important to believe God. also thinkin.. for the rest of his life, the son would remember how Jesus healed him when he almost died.. Father, that You may use us. that signs and wonders would accompany us as we share Your truth. that people would encounter You among us.

there were 10 lepers. all 10 were healed of leprosy. but only one came back to thank Jesus, and he was saved. 10 received physical healing, only one received life.

i dont know

i dont know Lord, but im sure glad You do..

i dont know what.. i dont know why.. i dont know how.. i dont know if.. i dont know.

i give all these i dont knows to You. hee. please keep me with You. Father i pray You would guide my time.. and i do love Your revelation.. beginning to recognise testimonies of faith around me. it sO cOoL. You have made my heart glad in the middle of i dont knows. praises to You. sweet. =)

late nites

been sleeping late past few nites, chatting w wanping, tonight went to visit the members at encounter.. slept at 2 yest, and now its 0217! not insomnia.. jus feelin hyper.. don know why.

mayb cos im on leave on mon. hee. long weekend.. den next week mon is holiday! yay!

today God taught me a bit on prayer.. read the booklet chap 2. prayer is birthed from desire. interesting.. been saying dat word a lot recently.. interesting. it can be used to describe so many things. hmm. den read the carlos annacondia book a bit and was q blown away by how there's so much faith and reality of God as he shares testimony after testimony. the power and authority of God that is given to us. to set people free. if only we understood it. how it would change the world if we did. Father, i want to understand it..

haiz. dunno why. prayed for a girl today, and found tearing with her as i did. then later cry again when was prayed for. think it is just You. but i was very glad. cos i felt a return to watching and waiting for You and praying as You led.

learned that.. it is the time you spend praying/interceding in private, that can allow you to pray undistracted and in the Spirit, both inside and outside home. and the same relationship enables you to be effective in leading worship. ponder what does r'ship need to grow.. time spent, trust, openness in sharing, mutual conversation, understanding, care, shared experiences... so it is also with our r'ship with You.

raindrops on roses.. wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings..

Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls.. ps 42:7

I love you, O LORD, my strength. ps 18:1
David loved God.. he just said it out.. have always thot it is such an intimate glimpse into how he felt towards You.. not the kingship, not the material comforts, not the wars he has won.. but just this.. he loves You, O Lord, his strength.. a living relationship, esteemed above all he had or had achieved in this earth.. hmm.

dear Lord, thank You for the fellowship tonight, and for all You have done and continue to do in this encounter. for all our members, and R who is attending a sep one.. Praise and worship to You. =)

more verses i wan to remember

Eph 1: 17-23
I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.

That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms,
far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come.

And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.

Eph 2:4-7
But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.

And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.

focusing on how God has placed all things in subjection under the feet (in fact, He is "far above" ) of Jesus, and He raised us to be seated with Him, so in the Lord, all things are in subjection under our feet too. hmm..

also on how our Father has great love for us.. rich mercy.. and kindness.

dear Father, in the same way (as Paul prayed), i also pray You will give me the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that i may know You better. that the eyes of my heart may be enlightened in order that i may know the hope to which You have called me, the riches of Your glorious inheritance in the saints, and Your incomparably great power for us who believe. dear Father.. suddenly seems like there's still so much i dont know about You.. as though i've barely scratched the surface and my knowledge is so inadequate and superficial.. and that many things i thought i knew about You were just shadows compared to the true intensity of You.
thinking of what Ian said.. Our God is a consuming fire. An awfulness, an awesomeness of power.

suddenly feel i'm so lacking/clumsy in my handling of Your Word.. Father, please teach me.. basically a cry for help to You. quite jia lat leh.. after so many years..=" perhaps inspired by what Wanping said about going bible college herself if Ps D doesnt send her..

verses

Matt 5:3..
Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God."

Matt 7:7-11
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"

thot these were v interesting verses.. suddenly seemed like i saw them again in new light.. reminded of how God is our Father(Jesus said so too!) and how our Father's heart is to pour out His good gifts to us.. like He just can't wait to bless us with more good things.. if only we ask.. and asking.. also expresses our relationship.. thinking.. its a relationship after all..

also thinking about how God is the King. King of heaven and earth. King over all. and He is a King who rules. and in His grace, He wants us to rule with Him. How amazing.

wanping's bday

went wanping's house for dinner last fri.. wah, her 'sheep' are q adorable.. they also v gao xiao loh.. one of them is an amazing cook. he prepared the steamboat(2 types of soup, various dishes, there was even a mushroom container w 3 diff types inside!), baked the cake, made choc fondue.. amazing. v thoughtful.. and when we had finished, in a wink, all the dishes and things were all cleared up as a team effort.. impressed.. :). its good. glad she has so many who love her!

thankful You for the detail way You look after me.. for the bus driver who makes unofficial stop to let me off nearer my place yest and so many other times.. for speaking to me abt how the way i am w family relates to how i am w cell, and abt spending more time at home.. and just for Your being with me. talking to me, reminding me things, and teaching me. esp in these past weeks. prayer and praise. thank You, my Father. :)

Love

thot today.. sometimes a simple listening ear can accomplish so much more than a monologue of advice/judgement.

the difference.. Love. expressed in a desire to understand, where the other is coming from. and perhaps a dash of faith?.. to believe in the best of someone.

read in a card once. a friend is one who understands where you've come from.. accepts what you've become.. and gently invites you to grow..

rainy day

its a rainy day today.. listening to my new cd.. a line goes.. "Jesus, i'm in love with You.." simple songs with passion.

went out last nite w Wanping n her church frens! hahas! it was her bday and 15 of us surprised her at Marche.. hee. she was only expecting 3.. and certainly not me! haha. and i'd jus called her in the afternoon and chatted nonchalantly abt collecting my passport etc. hee. it was v funny.

went to sing karaoke w Ed, Angela and Lian Shin on tues.. hee, turns out Lian Shin knows lots of happening new chinese songs! (haha i only know e old ones and i don remember titles/singers) It was fun.

as a result of 2 late nites, i was v sleepy today.. Thankful for a manageable workload.. perhaps cos of the rain.. a young christian fren was asking me abt a bgr problem today. found my thoughts were q all over the shop.. think i didnt have a good reply for him.. dear Lord, please help him figure it out and grow in You.

P's divorce verdict coming out end of mth (regarding finance n child).. was sad for a while when he told us.. not abt the verdict.. was reminded of how the process of it mus b v hurtful to him.. was thinkin.. divorce mus b so many times worse than breakup.. its the realisation of all the plans made and finding there is nothing there at the end it. the separation of all that was once joyfully shared, house, child.. 2 lives that had become 1. sigh.

here's a verse i thought was beautiful today.. cant q explain why.. but it just is..
Psalm 96: 6
Splendor and majesty are before him;
strength and glory are in his sanctuary.

perhaps it reminds me how beautiful my Father is..

labour day

hooray! its a holiday! on a monday. so glad.. also cos slept at 330 las nite.. and woke at 745.. so a bit fried kinda feeling.. overestimated myself perhaps.. cos nite b4 also slept at 3 plus talking to WanPing!.. and was ok the next day.. jus was not sleepy.. mayb cos happy thinking abt holiday today!

went to watch interpreter las night, not bad.. interesting.. realised nicole is q pretty.

listening to my new planetshakers cd! "open up the gates"

thinkin.. sometimes, Father, things can get me feeling down/not sure of direction.. but in my own space, in Your presence, listening to worship songs, i can reconnect back to You and there's a joy that jus springs up again suddenly. its jus the joy of my Father, of being thankful that i know You. i know this world cant be just me and You.. tho sometimes i kinda wish it could be..? dat i could jus stay here and be in this moment with You.. and dat it would last forever.. have an inkling that heaven is a bit like this.. millions of times amplified.. perhaps i get distracted/affected easily. or perhaps its just when u care, u will feel something..

haha.. remember once i threw out this notion to J that without emotions, things would be simpler. can be messy stuff. but dear Lord, perhaps if i learnt to let You govern mine, consciously, i will see the difference.. interesting. never thot abt this before.. how exciting to see what will happen. =)

more SBSP!

i went to the website.. hahas.. am q amused! so here's more.. whaha!

Character Guide:

SpongeBob SquarePants - If you could describe SpongeBob with three words they would be naive, optimistic, and square. He never seems to know what is really going on. SpongeBob can never be bored because everything he does he uses his imagination. He works at the Krusty Krab, the home of the Krabby Patty, and is a fry-cook legend. His favorite thing to do (besides flip patties) is playing with his best friend, Patrick. He also lives in a pineapple!

Patrick Star - Patrick, the chubby pink starfish, is SpongeBob's best friend. They even joined the Best Friends Forever Club. Patrick always comes up with some crazy idea that SpongeBob performs. The failures may show that Patrick isn't the brightest creature in Bikini Bottom. In fact, he's far from it.

Mr. Eugene H. Krabs - Mr. Krabs is SpongeBob and Squidward's money hungry boss at the Krusty Krab. He really does love his customers and employees a lot (probably for their money), but he'll do anything to get a few dollars, or even a dime! His hobbies include counting money and saying "Argh!"

Gary The Snail - Gary is a snail, but meows like a cat, and he is SpongeBob's bright and faithful pet companion. He's always guiding SpongeBob and directing SB in the right path.

Mrs. Poppy Puff - Mrs. Puff is SpongeBob's Boating School teacher. She is constantly getting hurt by SpongeBob's bad driving.

Pearl Krabs - Mr. Krabs' whiny teenage daughter who just happens to be a whale. Mr. Krabs loves Pearl more than anything (except maybe money).

keke.. der was more but decided wld hv been too tedious. dian dao wei zhi. :)

movies and ice-cream

wonder if i'm growing old or something.. there's rarely a movie dat interests me these days.. wat happen to all the corny/lame movies.. hmm. really nothing much to watch these days. dont think its me. wanted to watch "spongebob squarepants" (even found someone to watch it w!!) but no more showing when i returned.. hmm..

mummy bought 3 tubs of haagen daas! choc, vanilla and strawberry cheesecake.! esp sweet of her cos i jus pseudo commented that there's no ice cream in the fridge 2 days ago.. haha. Ks, i hv more ice cream den u now! (he alwiz say HD v cheap in USA..)

haha, here's an example of things that amuse me! esp the live in pineapple under the sea, absorbent/yellow/porous bit! haha!!

Theme Song (of SBSP!):

Captain: Are ya ready kids?

Kids: Aye, aye, captain!

Captain: I can't hear you!

Kids: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

Captain: Ohhh..... who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!

Captain: Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!

Kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!

Captain: If nautical nonsense be something you wish,

Kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!

Captain: Then drop on the deck, and flop like a fish!

Kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!

Captain: Ready?

Everyone: SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants!

Captain: SpongeBob... SquarePants!

keke.. yeah.. i like my corny movies.. or shld i say my movies corny..

song byte

here's a refrain dat still plays in my internal cd player fr time to time..

i'll walk with You in my heart..
i'll walk with You in my heart..
find me at the cross, down on my knees
thank You Lord for saving me..

yeah. :)

Praise You!

q glad today, heard A and his gf going for encounter. am glad.. keep them in prayer.

seems Yihui got baptised while i was overseas.. aiyah.. would hv like to been there.. oh well.. guess really cant hv everything sometimes..

Guojun started a http://www.simcell.blogspot.com/ for his cell! its really neat. :)

hee.

back fr retreat

jus got back.. it was so many things.

abt 80-90 pple at the retreat, from all over the world, swedish, americans, canadians, australians, new zealanders, german, koreans, african, singaporean.. jus seeing them there is touching.. so many non asians. and the only reason they are here, so many fr halfway ard the world.. is just Him. they came with their chlidren, most of the children less then 7 yrs. little angelic blond haired running all over.. there was this really cute korean little toddler who liked me a lot for some reason.. he was adorable.. took many pics of him.. hee

a typical family.. G and J, living in N, fr canada.. they've been here for 15 yrs, in different parts of China.. they have 5 children, J is expecting her sixth. G is working with a specific minority pple trying to teach them how to farm(this tribe used to be hunters, then ran out of animals).. he's an engineer by training, but was brought up on a farm.. they r so earnest and sincere.. and have such clear eyes. if eyes are the windows of the soul.. then you cant miss the love in theirs. love for Him, pple and each other. as they speak, you can also sense that life is hard, but they are jus trusting in Him.. i heard they live in the village, with the villagers.. in a v mountainous part..

there's an American korean family.. learning chinese.. the father is a doctor.. and they've been in Kunming for 2 yrs.. with 2 tiny children..

so many very humble people of all sorts of professions.. serving and finding their way as they serve, as projects are quite dependant on the govt's approval, and the govt can change their minds and the rules of the game, and you just dont know when.. some dont really know what they are going to do yet, jus learning the language and trusting that He will open a place for them to serve at the right time..

R, the new in charge.. kept reiterating this verse Deuteronomy 33:27 (New International Version) The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. the first session he taught us and the last session.. something like a theme.

it spoke to me, and i felt it was His way of assuring me, with something familiar.. KS will know.. this is a special verse to me.

was q stressed in the middle cos it seemed i had 2-3 places i could go and all seemed suitable or all not suitable.. could not sleep that night and smsed a couple of friends. i felt better after that.. and was glad of their encouragement. Thankful for them and God.

the next day i talked to 2 pple. and the possibilities seemed better. i could go 2 places. still praying that Your will be done. please make it clear to me.. and keep the process in Your peace..

thankful for my singaporean roommate, who is abt to embark to nujiang for 2 yrs. she's ard my age too. it was a v blessed time. thankful for all the pple i met and jus for the experience to worship tog and our sharing sessions in our groups.. kinda looked forward to home too the last couple of days. perhaps it was all the travelling.. and a lot of info.. yah.. now. jus glad to be home and glad about the past few days.. its amazing. God is awesome.

19.4.05

leaving for airport in 30 mins.. dad dropping me off..

dont really know wat to expect..

dont like aeroplane food.. perhaps due to the 7 flights fr last trip..

will join LY and family tomo.

shall i wander ard Kunming tonite on my own.?

dear Father, i pray i take this trip with You.

kangaroos, fishes, foxes..

a familiar song

here's a song Xianhua taught me when we were in JC.. jus suddenly thot of it recently.. hv always felt it was v meaningful..

there are things, that i have
and hold dear to my heart
they are borrowed,
they're not mine at all..

Jesus only put them
to brighten my life
so remind me, remind me dear Lord..

roll back the curtain
of memory now and then,
show me where You've brought me from,
and where i could have been..

Remember i'm human
and humans forget
so remind me,
remind me dear Lord..

yah..

been thinkin abt tame little red foxes too..

LY suggest i go see an apartment in Kunming.. former owner singaporean.. 3 bedroom(wat am i gng to do w 3 bedrooms..) 5th floor, no lift.. keke.. oh well..

retreat

ohh. due to reasons, my friend has removed pics fr the net. oh well =)

well.. gng china on tues to join the retreat.. don quite know wat to expect.. LY mention uno, scrabble.. cant be jus like dat rite.. shrug.. 'Risk' would be fun though.. :)

well jus keep on praying.. wan to appreciate Xianhua, who stayed at my house overnight on sat during the G12 conf.. really helped me that night in processing the conf by talking it over with her.. yeah.. Thank You Father..

felt q tired today suddenly.. like muscle aching.. perhaps still recuperating fr the past couple of weeks.. but.. thinking about my Father makes me glad..

The Father loves you as much as He loves Jesus..

John 17:23 (NIV)
Jesus prayed..' I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me..'

The Father loves you as much as He loves Jesus..

these are some of the most precious words i heard at the conference recently.. it really changed the way i looked at things.. Be a son.. not just a servant.

Matthew 3:16-17
As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased."

and this was before Jesus had began His ministry..

Our Lord worked from a position of acceptance ('My Son'), affirmation ('I love him') and approval ('with him I am well-pleased').. He did not work for it, He worked from it.. we do not have to work for God's acceptance, love, or approval.. we work from it.. our Father loves us because we are, and because He is. how wonderful to remember this..

G12

back fr trip. was great.. but will not post my report here. .

went straight into G12 conference. for past 3 days. its so happening.. the messages were really meaningful, and i learnt a lot. an overwhelmingly strong Spirit of faith and inspiration from the speakers, men who seek after God's heart.. and each altar call we would run down to to receive God's anointing, and .. its amazing loh.. really taste and see that the Lord is good. quite hard to describe in human words what we received in our hearts. it's just.. God.

the most meaningful altar call for me was one where Ps Cesar released the rhema word after we had already reached the ground. he spoke the word from revelations, I know your deeds... but I hold this against you.. you have lost your first love.. ask the Lord show you what made you lose your first love.. it jus really spoke to me.. i jus asked Him over and over.. what made me lose my first love.. His word to me.. i have lost confidence along the way. i have lost confidence in Him.

came back and was jus thinking abt it.. and how.. knew there was something there.. You asked me "what made you lose confidence in Me..?"

i had been distracted by the things ive been blessed with, the ministry, the people, wonderful people though they are, and i loved them with all my heart, really.. struggling with my feelings of inadequacy of leadership.. disappointments.. with myself.. with others..

i was also afraid of feeling the burden of God for the lost.. i remember, at one pt in my JC life, i wld enter a bus and feel burdened for the lost i cld see sitting on the bus.. and would quietly pray for them on my commute.. feelings of wanting to reach out, but yet not know quite how to do it.. its a heaviness of heart.

but Lord... was thinking of how i received the burden for the lost in the first place.. why i thought abt missions since i was 16.. and i realised, its because of how You changed my life when i met You.. how i had felt so alone, so lost, out of place, fearful and with no reason to hope for the future.. and when i met You, You changed everything. You taught me You accepted me, loved me and affirmed me because You just do.. because You are my Father.. amazing.. and Your love healed me in such wonderful ways. and made me grow to see and love myself and love others the way You do. and i felt so deeply that others do not need to suffer needlessly the way i once did when You want to restore them to their rightful place with You. Home. Loved. Accepted. and gently invited to grow out of that position of love and acceptance.

and over the last 4-5 years, i forgot how terrible it once was to be lost. i became so comfortable.. and to live a subsidised Christian life. i'm sorry Lord.. restore to me my first love. if it means to receive Your heart of burden again, then give it to me. i do want Your dream to come true. Your Heart's cry to be so in me that i can always find the place in my heart to cry with You. i give thanks to You Lord, for You are good, Your love endures forever.

i think somewhere along the way.. i decided to be close enough to God to know His blessings.. even do a bit of ministry to tell myself im alright.. but away enough not to hear or know His heart's cry.. but not to know Your heart, Lord.. is really not to know You.. and i dont want that anymore. thank You that You give generously to Your children. and You desire to give good things to us. Thank You Father. :)

finished packing

Dear Lord, i pray i will love You more after the trip. and that i will understand better how to walk with You. and that i may know You.. In Jesus Name. Amen.

i feel better

i feel better since my last post.. thanks all my dear friends for encouraging me.. your concern helps.. God gave me a word yesterday too. 2 words.. and as i meditate on these 2 words i feel my mind gets better.. the 2 words are..

exercise faith.

was reflecting that this trip seems to be one of the most spiritual attack so far.. that means there is something special about it.. maybe its the 3 new believers Prof wants to bless. or its the last trip before i possibly go Kunming in july.. or the team is special.. but watever it is.. am grateful to God for the opportunities we have had to pray about the trip together (on thurs at Dr Cheong's).. like Elaine said.. Lord, thank You for making things come together.. we see how You provide for funds for the D3s, the GIC products sponsored by Dr Pia.. our meetings.. the D3s in their exams.. their prep in making the models, prep gifts, borrowing instruments, coming up with song sheets, prep for easter celebrations in their own churches in the midst of all this.. Lord in You all things hold together..

Lord, i pray that i will know You better..

...

i felt v stressed out these few days.. almost as tho im going to burn out.. but tt's when im not distracted by stuff.. then when im alone, the stressed out feeling comes again.. feels like.. everything inside is dried up and evaporated.. and my mind is racing ahead with its own momentum.. and i struggle to keep a sense of reality and God.. feels like i want to cry but i cant seem to cry it out..

everybody please pray..

maybe its partly cos going for mission trip in 6 days.. some sort of spiritual attack? many things not confirmed.. tickets that we will buy there.. prof going taiwan on Thurs.. but.. its going to be an grand adventure with You, Lord. ;)

maybe cos i left Soph's cell 2 weeks ago and i miss them..

maybe cos suddenly feels like i've been driving myself hard the past mths and it finally caught up w me.. tho i did enjoy the activities/people/friends.. and didnt feel tired then..

suddenly jus feel.. stressed out.. at yet at other times.. its ok.. a bit dizzy at times these couple of days too.. feels so.. : .. but somehow i cling on and know You are God and will carry me through.. tho i may not understand why i feel like this now.. Sing ai says perhaps when i rest more, the unprocessed feelings will surface, then i can deal with it.. i think she's rite.. Thank You God for her.. and Wanping!

xie xie Ni..

hmmph

okies.. was feeling kinda stressed, then jus heard dis cheesy love song which im gng to play for a friend's wedding.. now am kinda amused..

gng to china for 10 days, leaving on 28th mar.. hope Prof's sis is alrite.. she suddenly had mild stroke and discovered had advanced cancer.. she's in Taiwan.. pray in Jesus' Name for healing to be upon her.. Prof mus b stress cos we're leaving soon and his sis seemed in serious condition. yet he's supposed to lead the group.. Your wisdom and strength be upon him.

hv decided my first priority these days before i leave are the SM2 students.. dunno how but Lord.. i pray You will use me to bless and love them, and encourage them as they get used to life here.. pray You will touch their lives..

perhaps ano reason feel kinda stressed is cos feel i only hv 4 more mths b4 i leave for China.. and i do hope my 4 beloved friends can be stable in You and Your family b4 i go.. perhaps i am anxious.. Lord, i give You my anxious thoughts.. talked to You jus now and You said its because i care a lot .. and i realised i do.. and i know if they are in You, they will be safe, and loved and protected, and truely blessed. brings to mind what Ps T said.. 'God may seem slow but He's never late.' and i know You are not slow.. and even tho i do care a lot.. i know You care even more.. and You love them amazingly much, as You love me.. so i commit them to You and trust..

want to thank You for amazing time at sungei buloh yest w SM2 students.. 5 of us. and thank You for lovely day today, and the sharing w my friend.. Please let Your love, peace and comfort be on him, and pray that You will make this work for good.. and that You will guard his heart, thoughts and he will look to You and grow strong in his relationship with You.. Lord Jesus, please help him, to open his heart and life to You.. and to hunger for You.

Renew my mind, Lord, that i may understand in my heart and mind, the power and importance of praying. help!

Thank You Lord, for loving me. for being my Father. for being my Shepherd. for being patient with me. Thank You Lord for saving me.

Baygon

saw a cockroach in the doorway of the bathroom while bathing yest. it jus blatently stood in the middle of the entrance! at least not facing me lah.. and looked kinda stone, full grown, but not the alert feelers always moving kind. ahh!! needless to say, was distracted n kept glancing at it! quickly bathed, even brushed teeth.

at first prayed that it would jus die without me having to do anything. then prayed it would disappear quietly from where-ever it came from (then thought maybe not too good cos den i wouldn know where it went!) it crept out of the door while i was brushing teeth. thought flashed across my brain(will i be trapped in the bathroom thinking there is a cockroach outside?) (quite similar to life hor, sometimes we are trapped in a place cos we are afraid, but the "cockroach" outside may not be even there anymore. how satan can hold us captive with lies sometimes.)

also thought, next time go china if alone got cockroach how.. ahh! so opened door gingerly and it was still there! only thing i hv is a rather small bathroom slipper!! dunno whose foot so small!!

decided to throw the slipper. prayed it wouldn move.. then threw. and slipper whacked it on the head and it turned upside down still q motionless. phew.. quick run out of bathroom.. throw the body away? err.. maybe next time..(pls hope no next time).. dad did it in the end when he came back.. shiver.. ok.. glad it turned out ok.. Thank God. :)

Power

1 Cor 1: 18 For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

this verse gave me new understanding.. cos was thinking abt the tabernacle, n how amazing that a few objects, a room.. can invite the presence of God so powerfully.. of cos, diff pple came away with diff experiences. then was thinking.. like the verse says: to a cynic, it may all seem foolishness from his scientific/proud mind. but to those who believe in God, it is the power of God that enters to transform into our lives. and the cynic has missed it. i dont want to miss it.. power or powerlessness.. what a world of difference it has made to me..

same goes to unpleasant comments i sometimes hear pple saying about God.. you know, those who think it's so cool to pass ignorant remarks about Him.. wat foolish things r said sometimes.. then we think we r so clever.. sigh.. im sorry.. forgive us. Thank You for Your mercy, and love that endures.

here's a sobering verse read out at a cell meeting 7 yrs ago..

Rev 3:17-19 "You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent.

it was as though scales fell from our eyes when the verse was read, and our hearts were convicted. His Presence came into the room. praise God for His Word.. it was amazing. which is why i still remember it..

sanc week and tabernacle

sanctification week jus finished.. its amazing.. went 3 nites out of 4.. topics were rebuilding the altar of God, of family, of worship, and of destiny.. each night there was jus an amazing presence of God, jus good to be there in His Presence.

went tabernacle yest.. b4 dat Ps H shared w us the structure of it and the meaning.. jus find it so amazing that You really really took so much pains to try to reach out to man and to reveal Jesus even in the old testament (the picture of the cross within the cross (the tabernacle within the layout of surrounding of encamping tribes, so that the picture of the cross is seen as the 12 tribes advance..).. im sorry that we are so....

even at the first station (the brazen altar, (salvation)) there was an amazing presence and a conviction of sin.. jus a feeling of... oh dear.. im such a sinful person, i could never repay my debt.. thank You for saving me, Lord.. and at the Brazen laver.. (sanctification). i was touched by the words (Jesus is the Living Water, who cleanses us, and we are cleansed by baptism, and by the Word of God). i sensed the love of God.. and was touched by the altar of incense station too (bowl of prayers).. thank You Lord.. for bringing me thru and being with me and by my side.. thank You Lord..

Rom 8: 37-39 'in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.'

Thank You for saving me and loving me.

Nice poem fr KS

A Poem Of Hope

One song can spark a moment,
One flower can wake the dream.
One tree can start a forest,
One bird can herald spring.

One smile begins a friendship,
One handclasp lifts a soul.
One star can guide a ship at sea,
One word can frame the goal.

One vote can change a nation,
One sunbeam lights a room,
One candle wipes out darkness,
One laugh will conquer gloom.

One step must start each journey,
One word must start each prayer.
One hope will raise our spirits,
One touch can show you care.

One voice can speak with wisdom,
One heart can know what's true.
One life can make the difference. You see, it's up to YOU!

mission trip meeting today

well.. today was really kinda busy at work.. afternoon suddenly got issue 2 crowns.. trim occlusion like mad.. so left work late and had to take a cab to meet prof they all.. thought id be harried(?) at end of the day.. but i was wrong.. i was v glad of heart at end of the day.. so happy.. to meet prof n the 5 D3s..

they're actually on study break, exams in 2 weeks.. i loved it dat A was there at meeting and will be going together! cos she's my good friend, really thank God.. so blessed.. tentative plan reverted. we'll finish the course in 4 days, prof will be there aft e first day(A n me go 1 day earlier).. and 2 of us can tour chengdu for 3-4 days!! maybe we'll get to see jiuzhaigou.. cool.. but these are jus plans.. maybe they'll change.. tho i hope this one works.. it sounds really good.. but Lord.. let Your will be done, let Your perfect plan take place.. only then will it all hold together and the real blessing be found. Blessed be Your Name. please help us to love the students.. and let them know You care.

yes, was saying.. it was great hanging out.. their hearts are so.. its cool hanging out w pple who love You, Lord.. encouraging.. and J lived near me and gave me a lift home.. and i got to know prof better today.. he's can be q cute and funny.. and.. well.. dunno how to describe.. perhaps jus say Your presence was there among us.. n it was sweet.

there were some moments too at work when i was ... and really ...... ... and wondered.. sigh.. guess it jus takes time.. but how much time is it going to take.. phasing again..? as wanping says, ' ... ' y do i hurry myself.. perhaps cos i don wan to be sad..

well

i jus told my mum abt my China plans.. she was alrite, jus asked if i knew anyone there, and assumed i would be on my own funding.. she said she understands.. Thank You Lord.. i think she'll tell my dad.. so now i can jus focus more on working with ps J..

Philippians 4:8 (NIV)
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.

this verse is applicable.. cos yest J was v rude to my friend on my comp, and lied abt it till i confronted her (cos MSN got record), so its quite dumb on her part to lie abt it. anyways, she got scolded by me, and esp mum.

the thing is.. tho she act tough and refuse to apologise and insist she's right (like last time when she was younger, tho now dat we're grown up it's jus weird when she did it), this time i see her unreasonable behaviour so much clearer and well.. if she's wrong she's wrong loh.. no amt of smoke or diverging can cover that.. not much point getting myself angry abt it after a while..

jus see that she's actually a rather sad case to be someone w such bad behaviour, w pride/insecurity such tt she wont admit when she's in the wrong (hence her forever quarrels w her mother-in-law, "futile thinking, darkened heart, foolishness"?).. and as i struggle w pride in my life too (trying to focus on serving w humility), so.. well.. God is just.. leave it to Him.. i jus want to be thankful for the mercy He shows me.. other things is His to settle.. of cos, did feel sad that she behave so badly.. would be nice to hv have a better r'ship, she hd seemed more mature in the last yr.. well.. shrug.. feel sorry for my bro-in-law, he seems really nice.. suddenly she's seem to be jus a small person, ranting/raving in a small corner by herself.. well well.. people..

Philippians 4:8 (NIV)Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.

the verse is applicable cos.. well there are so many more wonderful and exciting things to think abt (plans, trips, lovely friends and parents). jus thankful.. so tho felt disapointed abt it.... Lord, i jus want to look to You.. and as i do.. i feel glad in You again..

Ps 105:3
Glory in His holy name; Let the heart of those who seek the Lord be glad.

God's word is amazing.. penetrates, divides, judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart..

me going blading.. den meting CL and XH in afternoon.. commit today into Your hands Lord.. thank You for this day..

ps. i discovered 'Risk' is a v fun boardgame to play.. hee. ;)

happenings

well, well.. looks like i'll be going Dali for a short trip, 28th march to 6th apr, pray that leave will be confirmed so i can go.. ano village dental training.. this time, lovely Angela will be going too! cool.

well, prof called me yest.. seems he has to be back in sg early for a compulsory staff retreat.. so it seems i hv to be lao da in this trip in leading the grp of 3 juniors and Angela, and prof w 2 more juniors will join up w us on the last 2 days.. dear Lord.. You are the ultimate Lao Da.. i pray you will complete me in my inadequacy, so that i will be adequate in You and Your will and purposes will be accomplished.. i pray for Your grace and that You will use me and it will be a positive experience as i serve in this role..

Thank You for today's bible study which i facilitated.. it was indeed a positive experience for me.. please teach me..

Thank You for my friends, R, L, C, S.. so many lovely people who have been keeping me company..

Thank You for G, who is still attending cell.. should i leave.. Lord, i hope and pray that, A, E, J, C will be settled in the cell before i go.. pray that all will be well with S, and Lord, pray Your empowerment be with her, and Your breakthrough.. as she leads the cell.. Your power in her life as well as the cell.. You're magnificent, Lord.. all praise to You..!!! hugs..

ooh.. want to thank You too, that the work situation seems to be settled.. and its ok loh.. Thank You for bringing me through.. and i know You were and are with me.. xie xie..

submission

sermon on "how to live with a husband who is so strange"

pts that spoke to me.

submission is a lifestyle of christians; not jus submission to husband, but also leaders, employers etc. it is a faith decision that your ultimate life blessings etc lie with God, and God is in control.

submission is powerful. because when Jesus submitted to God, to death on cross(an unfair thing to Himself) the power of God for salvation was released. and it is powerful indeed.

pt to ponder; submission to husband, leaders etc must first start w submission to God. if u are struggling, reflect on ur submission to God.. perhaps there in lies a reason.. interesting.

1231

its 1231 now.. a.m.. woke up at 1 pm today so still ok.. haven bathe tho.. cos came back at 11+.. i think i need to pray more.. so dat more things will settle down and i can see things more clearly and thus respond in an effective way.. esp towards pple i care abt.. rite now.. sometimes there is so much info tt the feelings/signals are all in e air.. i cant make sense of it and so not sure when to comfort and when to clarify/encourage/explain or when someone needs me jus to listen.. Thank God for His grace.. and that He is God and ultimately in control. Praise God.! Dear Lord.. help me.. to respond in Your loving way.. in everything..

stressful, or maybe not. hv meeting w dr K on tues. watever. its interesting. how the Lord helps me see the situations. now mostly feeling, like dat loh. Thank You Lord.. i appreciate Your viewpoint to know what to be stressed and what not to be stressed about.
And God is not stressed. and He does not want us to be anxious about anything. He is God.

A said he feels depressed these days. cos of the crossroads he's in. Girls can be so s******.

feel strange these days.. esp abt.. maybe jus a phase.. ... it comes and passes fr time to time.. feel kinda lonely when it comes.. but i thank God that i hv a few friends who i know care abt me. one of which is WANPING!(who is happy to see her name in blogs) keke. cool babe. and R, J, CL, XH, L, S.. i am v blessed. Thank You Lord.. xie xie ni ai wo.

i do notice that when.. i'll think abt.. and then it precipitates an... of.. sigh.. wonder how much longer it will b like dis.. it really makes me sigh when i notice it happening..

..... ....

but its normal i guess.

what KS wrote abt me.. keke

S4 is like a precious diamond and people around her will always want to cotton-wool her to prevent damaging her, even though logically, diamonds cannot be scratched, except by another diamond. In short,delicate, precious, yet invulnerable. moi, paraphrased MSN message.

S4 S4 S4. It feels like I've known her forever. She probably knows me better than anyone else. One of the first people on my favorite people list, she certainly deserves to be first on this list.

Let's roll back the years to the beginning. She was gangly, gawky, bespectacled & blur. Both of us were in S1, the medicine or triple science faculty. We were in different classes and met through a common ex-RGS friend one afternoon. It was an eventful first meeting. Being the naughty, obnoxious 17 year old I was, I started name-calling a girl I've never met before in my life. I got my just desserts though. I was whacked with a pillow and chased around the garden by an angry girl with an open water bottle. It didn't rain that day, but I was drenched.

Though we started off on the wrong foot, we hit it off over the coming months. Bored with studies, she would go friend hunting around the classrooms, armed with her trusty Chinese chess set. I thought to myself, Lamb to the slaughter! She just didn't strike one as the brainy type. Boy was I wrong. I can't remember a single occasion when I managed to beat her. Talk about falling flat on your face.

A staunch Christian even then, S4 used to find opportunities to pray for people:
“Kim Seng, come here. Come here. [Beckons with hand]
“Hey simee dai, Hoh seh boh?
“Come. Sit down. Let me pray for you.
“What! No, no, no [Runs off in semi-fright]
Time and again, her kind offer was thwarted by this then-staunch atheist who shrank away from all that mumbo-jumbo churchy stuff. Thank God she wasn't offended by my bigotry and ignorance. In fact, years later, she had fond memories of the (ahem) cute boy who ran away every time someone offered to pray for him.

S4 hung out with a gang of 3-8s in VJ: CL, E, G and YF. They bantered and gossiped their way through school, childlike and carefree. Though we cannot walk the same path twice, I miss the verbal barrage YF and I used to engage in:
“三八！”
“龟公！”
“三八！”
“龟公！”
“三八，三八，三八，三八，三八。。。”
“龟公，龟公，龟公，龟公，龟公。。。”
Ah! Those were the days.

Before we knew it, the A Levels came and went. Our lives diverged, NUS for her, the Army for me. Miraculously, we kept in contact. She brought me to church and I eventually gave my life to the Lord. From chess-playing chums, we became fast friends, as evidenced by a surprise 21st birthday present, a puny $5 yellow duck keychain I hang on my bag to this day. I have her to thank for keeping me in church. Many were the days when I didn't want to go church, but it's not nice to turn down a pretty girl's invitation, no?

If you were to ask me to describe her in one word, it's consistent. Just like her favorite star, Polaris stays put, unchanging as other heavenly bodies travel across the night sky. The years may have taken away some of the gawkiness, but S4 remains the S4 of old; childlike, pure, innocent, simple, loyal and incredibly sweet. In all my years, I've not met another person like her. She's a one-off. Unlike many of our generation, she's content with the small pleasures in life: watching television with loved ones, blading with friends at ECP, listening to boy bands and dim sum at Crystal Jade. Never one to chase the 5Cs, she is happy wherever God may choose to plant her. God bless her soul.

S4 is everything I'm not. She takes herself seriously and always means what she says. You can be sure that if she says Let's meet tomorrow at 3, she'll be there. She likes to plan ahead of time, while I'm the last minute go-with-the-flow type of guy. There is no deceit about her, a perfect example of WYSIWYG. Her gentle disposition instantly puts people at ease. She's the kind of girl guys will offer to carry her bag for.

Back to that MSN quote. I described her as a diamond because she can be hard, brittle and impermeable at times. Victimized by her elder sister since birth, she has evolved the twin weapons of stubborn doggedness and sarcasm. Recipients of her acerbic tongue in piques of anger will agree; don't step on her tail. Never did meet with much success changing her mind about things too. Life is never like a buffet I guess. More like a set meal. You win some, you lose some.

S4 always makes me laugh. The pleasure's all mine, us crossing paths. God bless you in all ways as He calls you forth away from the Lion City. I believe you will be a tremendous blessing, beautiful friend.

a verse i like

Romans 1: 21 (NASB)
For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened.

we've been doing a bible study book on Romans in cell.. so this is a verse that struck me. cos the book was asking us to think about how we have suppressed truth (by not honoring God and giving thanks, which results in futile thinking and darkened heart)

it also asked to think abt one of my habitual faults and how it is rooted in futile thoughts. so it was v interesting to see things in this new light, for me.. and yah, feels like its on to something, something there, need to reflect more.

so also have been praying that my thoughts will be fruitful and heart have light inside. trying to pray the word of God these days. there's power there..