well

i jus told my mum abt my China plans.. she was alrite, jus asked if i knew anyone there, and assumed i would be on my own funding.. she said she understands.. Thank You Lord.. i think she'll tell my dad.. so now i can jus focus more on working with ps J..

Philippians 4:8 (NIV)
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.

this verse is applicable.. cos yest J was v rude to my friend on my comp, and lied abt it till i confronted her (cos MSN got record), so its quite dumb on her part to lie abt it. anyways, she got scolded by me, and esp mum.

the thing is.. tho she act tough and refuse to apologise and insist she's right (like last time when she was younger, tho now dat we're grown up it's jus weird when she did it), this time i see her unreasonable behaviour so much clearer and well.. if she's wrong she's wrong loh.. no amt of smoke or diverging can cover that.. not much point getting myself angry abt it after a while..

jus see that she's actually a rather sad case to be someone w such bad behaviour, w pride/insecurity such tt she wont admit when she's in the wrong (hence her forever quarrels w her mother-in-law, "futile thinking, darkened heart, foolishness"?).. and as i struggle w pride in my life too (trying to focus on serving w humility), so.. well.. God is just.. leave it to Him.. i jus want to be thankful for the mercy He shows me.. other things is His to settle.. of cos, did feel sad that she behave so badly.. would be nice to hv have a better r'ship, she hd seemed more mature in the last yr.. well.. shrug.. feel sorry for my bro-in-law, he seems really nice.. suddenly she's seem to be jus a small person, ranting/raving in a small corner by herself.. well well.. people..

Philippians 4:8 (NIV)Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.

the verse is applicable cos.. well there are so many more wonderful and exciting things to think abt (plans, trips, lovely friends and parents). jus thankful.. so tho felt disapointed abt it.... Lord, i jus want to look to You.. and as i do.. i feel glad in You again..

Ps 105:3
Glory in His holy name; Let the heart of those who seek the Lord be glad.

God's word is amazing.. penetrates, divides, judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart..

me going blading.. den meting CL and XH in afternoon.. commit today into Your hands Lord.. thank You for this day..

ps. i discovered 'Risk' is a v fun boardgame to play.. hee. ;)

happenings

well, well.. looks like i'll be going Dali for a short trip, 28th march to 6th apr, pray that leave will be confirmed so i can go.. ano village dental training.. this time, lovely Angela will be going too! cool.

well, prof called me yest.. seems he has to be back in sg early for a compulsory staff retreat.. so it seems i hv to be lao da in this trip in leading the grp of 3 juniors and Angela, and prof w 2 more juniors will join up w us on the last 2 days.. dear Lord.. You are the ultimate Lao Da.. i pray you will complete me in my inadequacy, so that i will be adequate in You and Your will and purposes will be accomplished.. i pray for Your grace and that You will use me and it will be a positive experience as i serve in this role..

Thank You for today's bible study which i facilitated.. it was indeed a positive experience for me.. please teach me..

Thank You for my friends, R, L, C, S.. so many lovely people who have been keeping me company..

Thank You for G, who is still attending cell.. should i leave.. Lord, i hope and pray that, A, E, J, C will be settled in the cell before i go.. pray that all will be well with S, and Lord, pray Your empowerment be with her, and Your breakthrough.. as she leads the cell.. Your power in her life as well as the cell.. You're magnificent, Lord.. all praise to You..!!! hugs..

ooh.. want to thank You too, that the work situation seems to be settled.. and its ok loh.. Thank You for bringing me through.. and i know You were and are with me.. xie xie..

submission

sermon on "how to live with a husband who is so strange"

pts that spoke to me.

submission is a lifestyle of christians; not jus submission to husband, but also leaders, employers etc. it is a faith decision that your ultimate life blessings etc lie with God, and God is in control.

submission is powerful. because when Jesus submitted to God, to death on cross(an unfair thing to Himself) the power of God for salvation was released. and it is powerful indeed.

pt to ponder; submission to husband, leaders etc must first start w submission to God. if u are struggling, reflect on ur submission to God.. perhaps there in lies a reason.. interesting.

1231

its 1231 now.. a.m.. woke up at 1 pm today so still ok.. haven bathe tho.. cos came back at 11+.. i think i need to pray more.. so dat more things will settle down and i can see things more clearly and thus respond in an effective way.. esp towards pple i care abt.. rite now.. sometimes there is so much info tt the feelings/signals are all in e air.. i cant make sense of it and so not sure when to comfort and when to clarify/encourage/explain or when someone needs me jus to listen.. Thank God for His grace.. and that He is God and ultimately in control. Praise God.! Dear Lord.. help me.. to respond in Your loving way.. in everything..

stressful, or maybe not. hv meeting w dr K on tues. watever. its interesting. how the Lord helps me see the situations. now mostly feeling, like dat loh. Thank You Lord.. i appreciate Your viewpoint to know what to be stressed and what not to be stressed about.
And God is not stressed. and He does not want us to be anxious about anything. He is God.

A said he feels depressed these days. cos of the crossroads he's in. Girls can be so s******.

feel strange these days.. esp abt.. maybe jus a phase.. ... it comes and passes fr time to time.. feel kinda lonely when it comes.. but i thank God that i hv a few friends who i know care abt me. one of which is WANPING!(who is happy to see her name in blogs) keke. cool babe. and R, J, CL, XH, L, S.. i am v blessed. Thank You Lord.. xie xie ni ai wo.

i do notice that when.. i'll think abt.. and then it precipitates an... of.. sigh.. wonder how much longer it will b like dis.. it really makes me sigh when i notice it happening..

..... ....

but its normal i guess.

what KS wrote abt me.. keke

S4 is like a precious diamond and people around her will always want to cotton-wool her to prevent damaging her, even though logically, diamonds cannot be scratched, except by another diamond. In short,delicate, precious, yet invulnerable. moi, paraphrased MSN message.

S4 S4 S4. It feels like I've known her forever. She probably knows me better than anyone else. One of the first people on my favorite people list, she certainly deserves to be first on this list.

Let's roll back the years to the beginning. She was gangly, gawky, bespectacled & blur. Both of us were in S1, the medicine or triple science faculty. We were in different classes and met through a common ex-RGS friend one afternoon. It was an eventful first meeting. Being the naughty, obnoxious 17 year old I was, I started name-calling a girl I've never met before in my life. I got my just desserts though. I was whacked with a pillow and chased around the garden by an angry girl with an open water bottle. It didn't rain that day, but I was drenched.

Though we started off on the wrong foot, we hit it off over the coming months. Bored with studies, she would go friend hunting around the classrooms, armed with her trusty Chinese chess set. I thought to myself, Lamb to the slaughter! She just didn't strike one as the brainy type. Boy was I wrong. I can't remember a single occasion when I managed to beat her. Talk about falling flat on your face.

A staunch Christian even then, S4 used to find opportunities to pray for people:
“Kim Seng, come here. Come here. [Beckons with hand]
“Hey simee dai, Hoh seh boh?
“Come. Sit down. Let me pray for you.
“What! No, no, no [Runs off in semi-fright]
Time and again, her kind offer was thwarted by this then-staunch atheist who shrank away from all that mumbo-jumbo churchy stuff. Thank God she wasn't offended by my bigotry and ignorance. In fact, years later, she had fond memories of the (ahem) cute boy who ran away every time someone offered to pray for him.

S4 hung out with a gang of 3-8s in VJ: CL, E, G and YF. They bantered and gossiped their way through school, childlike and carefree. Though we cannot walk the same path twice, I miss the verbal barrage YF and I used to engage in:
“三八！”
“龟公！”
“三八！”
“龟公！”
“三八，三八，三八，三八，三八。。。”
“龟公，龟公，龟公，龟公，龟公。。。”
Ah! Those were the days.

Before we knew it, the A Levels came and went. Our lives diverged, NUS for her, the Army for me. Miraculously, we kept in contact. She brought me to church and I eventually gave my life to the Lord. From chess-playing chums, we became fast friends, as evidenced by a surprise 21st birthday present, a puny $5 yellow duck keychain I hang on my bag to this day. I have her to thank for keeping me in church. Many were the days when I didn't want to go church, but it's not nice to turn down a pretty girl's invitation, no?

If you were to ask me to describe her in one word, it's consistent. Just like her favorite star, Polaris stays put, unchanging as other heavenly bodies travel across the night sky. The years may have taken away some of the gawkiness, but S4 remains the S4 of old; childlike, pure, innocent, simple, loyal and incredibly sweet. In all my years, I've not met another person like her. She's a one-off. Unlike many of our generation, she's content with the small pleasures in life: watching television with loved ones, blading with friends at ECP, listening to boy bands and dim sum at Crystal Jade. Never one to chase the 5Cs, she is happy wherever God may choose to plant her. God bless her soul.

S4 is everything I'm not. She takes herself seriously and always means what she says. You can be sure that if she says Let's meet tomorrow at 3, she'll be there. She likes to plan ahead of time, while I'm the last minute go-with-the-flow type of guy. There is no deceit about her, a perfect example of WYSIWYG. Her gentle disposition instantly puts people at ease. She's the kind of girl guys will offer to carry her bag for.

Back to that MSN quote. I described her as a diamond because she can be hard, brittle and impermeable at times. Victimized by her elder sister since birth, she has evolved the twin weapons of stubborn doggedness and sarcasm. Recipients of her acerbic tongue in piques of anger will agree; don't step on her tail. Never did meet with much success changing her mind about things too. Life is never like a buffet I guess. More like a set meal. You win some, you lose some.

S4 always makes me laugh. The pleasure's all mine, us crossing paths. God bless you in all ways as He calls you forth away from the Lion City. I believe you will be a tremendous blessing, beautiful friend.

a verse i like

Romans 1: 21 (NASB)
For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened.

we've been doing a bible study book on Romans in cell.. so this is a verse that struck me. cos the book was asking us to think about how we have suppressed truth (by not honoring God and giving thanks, which results in futile thinking and darkened heart)

it also asked to think abt one of my habitual faults and how it is rooted in futile thoughts. so it was v interesting to see things in this new light, for me.. and yah, feels like its on to something, something there, need to reflect more.

so also have been praying that my thoughts will be fruitful and heart have light inside. trying to pray the word of God these days. there's power there..

my star

i've come closer to identifying my star.. think it may be the bright star in the big dog constellation..

had an argument w L last nite, cos i haven been talking to her over the phone for a period (is that even an issue!). been occupied, and needed more time to myself.. suffice to say i hv not flared up for a longest time. but did feel quite exasperated, though i was sorry if she had felt hurt from insensitivity on my part. hope things will be amiable and i do truly wish her well and blessed life strong in God, i don have to be a significant part of it, its cool..

seems like someone at work trying to make trouble for me, but, it's ok. practising trust. and confidence and approval from God, not man. its a curious thing. but no matter what. give thanks to God. for He is good. His love endures forever.

He sent a friend to encourage me yesterday. out of the blue.

Cool..

diamond. :)

its like you're a precious diamond... and alwiz wanna wrap you in tissue paper to prevent scratches...
even though you know logically, diamonds cannot be scratched.. except by another diamond...
so invulnerable, but delicate and precious...

heehee.. thought dis would b lovely to remember.. so i won misunderstand next time.. cool analogy.. ;)

finger pain

jus prac guitar, w the "playing the guitar for worship' book and cd KS gave me.. waah.. finger v pain.. anyways, find it v good, jus started exploring it a week ago, shld hv done it much earlier!!

met LY, seems they welcome me anytime, may even hv a hongkong dentist coming(but don wan to get my hopes up, so jus nvm for now) so i now praying abt when i shld go.. now thinking along lines of end july..

ahh!! exciting and.. u know.. at same time..!

give my heart courage, Lord..

hope to go dali trip in late march, but, leave seems unconfirmed, cos don know if unpleasant business w 2nd boss may lead to a change of posting. would certainly like to confirm leave so can make plans asap. but this whole thing and the tension it holds has set me thinking abt faith in the Lord, and trusting God for the process, and not being stressed over things God is not stressed about..

visited KS's house today w CL, only his mom and baby Joel was in. bought bak kwa.. its really v nice to eat, the "gourmet" bak kwa, me tried the sample while queuing.. baby Joel is so so cute, big eyes, chuby cheeks, lots of hair, and a small mouth! an active boy too. looks like KS and his mom. im sure he'll grow up to be a v dashing young man. :)

KS mom gave me lots of goodies to bring home, oranges/ loveletters/ chocolate/ mixed nuts/ cuttlefish? and gave me and CL lots of food to eat.. keke.. she is so warm and generous.. as always..

dear Lord, i pray E and A will be planted firmly and deeply in your family and in You before i leave.. i also pray C will know You as Lord. i also pray KS will grow close close to You and your love will give him strength and Your Spirit empower his life while he is overseas. and he'll hv a v blessed time there. and grow, and look back on the time as a purposeful, and meaningful time with You.

i pray i will learn the guitar, good and fast. in the power of the Spirit. Pray all this in the Name of Jesus. Amen..

ps. me now pondering whether i shld go climbing tomo.. hmm.. undecided leh.. maybe go blade instead? dunno.

ooh. thankgiving

was reading thru my blog, realised that id prayed about the hill climbing. jus wan to thank You Lord, that it was indeed a good experience, and we all had safety. and it was fun! Thank You, Lord. dont want to take things for granted.

meeting LY

meeting LY later w SA to talk abt china plans.. freaky and exciting at the same time! dear Lord.. pray i don freak out.. but for grace and peace, and focus on You. then all things will fall into place..

meanwhile. mus get my priorities. so i know how to spend time. pareto's principle. (80% time spend on top 20 % priorities)
1) SM2 (the PRC students)
2) learn guitar
3) pray more, engage with God more, so that there is a flow and direction in all the info coming in each week, and less frustration
4) pray for S Yap as she settles in leading cell
5) E, C, A (friends id like to go church with)

went for dental prayer meeting yest at Dr C's house. for some reason, being there, praying tog with prof, J, E, D, Dr C and new friend encouraged my heart greatly. that was something i had not anticipated. perhaps it is that the fact we are there is really out of a sincerity and belief to pray that God will move things in the dental community. (tho our lives are not perfect, fact is we r v human, esp me, with grumblings n lots to learn) But there was jus so much real goodwill. esp cos it is quite an out of the way house, and the 3 students were in the midst of tests and schedule. it makes the fellowship even more precious. surely You were with us, making our hearts glad. Thank You. i was really glad too cos J had had a bad day at school, but halfway thru the prayer time, i could see his heavy mood had lifted, and Your joy had returned to his heart.