Missing pieces of the heart

Hung out with S recently. It was really nice just to sit and connect again. Some people are like missing pieces of ur heart, u dont realise it till u reconnect with one of them.. there is a time for everything.

25 “There will be signs in the sun, moon and stars. On the earth, nations will be in anguish and perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea. 26 People will faint from terror, apprehensive of what is coming on the world, for the heavenly bodies will be shaken. 27 At that time they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory. 28 When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near.”

34 “Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with carousing, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you suddenly like a trap. 35 For it will come on all those who live on the face of the whole earth. 36 Be always on the watch, and pray that you may be able to escape all that is about to happen, and that you may be able to stand before the Son of Man.”

Luke 21:25-28, 34-36

I've always liked the verses about the end of the world.. not because i'm morbid, but just the security in knowing what is going to happen, takes some of the fear away. And also the verses that describe Jesus coming in great power and what He will look like, brings His reality into our reality.

Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with carousing, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you suddenly like a trap.

I feel like there are alternate realities to this life i am living.. there is the one where i think about what He says and it seems that life should be different. And there is the one where we eat drink and make merry and nothing we say or do seems to really matter. just existing. The world goes on with or without us and we are just cogs in a wheel.

the problem is, no matter where i place in the rat race, i am just a rat in the end.. and everyday i am part of the world's game.. and its such a game.. perhaps it is a problem with vision..

well recently some words of wisdom(?) ; about how what we do everyday is part of His work and His kingdom, in restoring physical health and function, as that is what Your kingdom will look like. ok.. still thinking that one over.. it that a cop-out? at the moment i feel , no , there is some truth to it , but at the same time, i am looking for something more..

i guess, back there, it felt like it was clear what i was doing, and why, and it was a life where we take what He says seriously. here, its just mixed up, trying to live for Him and ourselves at the same time. Trying to be more 'normal', to fit in.. playing the role.. other pple do it.. why cant i just do it..

hitting the ground running, 'idleness'.. what do u do while you wait.. just wait some more.. because He has His timing.. because He knows the plan.

meanwhile, maybe i can work on equipping while waiting.. :)