finished packing

Dear Lord, i pray i will love You more after the trip. and that i will understand better how to walk with You. and that i may know You.. In Jesus Name. Amen.

i feel better

i feel better since my last post.. thanks all my dear friends for encouraging me.. your concern helps.. God gave me a word yesterday too. 2 words.. and as i meditate on these 2 words i feel my mind gets better.. the 2 words are..

exercise faith.

was reflecting that this trip seems to be one of the most spiritual attack so far.. that means there is something special about it.. maybe its the 3 new believers Prof wants to bless. or its the last trip before i possibly go Kunming in july.. or the team is special.. but watever it is.. am grateful to God for the opportunities we have had to pray about the trip together (on thurs at Dr Cheong's).. like Elaine said.. Lord, thank You for making things come together.. we see how You provide for funds for the D3s, the GIC products sponsored by Dr Pia.. our meetings.. the D3s in their exams.. their prep in making the models, prep gifts, borrowing instruments, coming up with song sheets, prep for easter celebrations in their own churches in the midst of all this.. Lord in You all things hold together..

Lord, i pray that i will know You better..

...

i felt v stressed out these few days.. almost as tho im going to burn out.. but tt's when im not distracted by stuff.. then when im alone, the stressed out feeling comes again.. feels like.. everything inside is dried up and evaporated.. and my mind is racing ahead with its own momentum.. and i struggle to keep a sense of reality and God.. feels like i want to cry but i cant seem to cry it out..

everybody please pray..

maybe its partly cos going for mission trip in 6 days.. some sort of spiritual attack? many things not confirmed.. tickets that we will buy there.. prof going taiwan on Thurs.. but.. its going to be an grand adventure with You, Lord. ;)

maybe cos i left Soph's cell 2 weeks ago and i miss them..

maybe cos suddenly feels like i've been driving myself hard the past mths and it finally caught up w me.. tho i did enjoy the activities/people/friends.. and didnt feel tired then..

suddenly jus feel.. stressed out.. at yet at other times.. its ok.. a bit dizzy at times these couple of days too.. feels so.. : .. but somehow i cling on and know You are God and will carry me through.. tho i may not understand why i feel like this now.. Sing ai says perhaps when i rest more, the unprocessed feelings will surface, then i can deal with it.. i think she's rite.. Thank You God for her.. and Wanping!

xie xie Ni..

hmmph

okies.. was feeling kinda stressed, then jus heard dis cheesy love song which im gng to play for a friend's wedding.. now am kinda amused..

gng to china for 10 days, leaving on 28th mar.. hope Prof's sis is alrite.. she suddenly had mild stroke and discovered had advanced cancer.. she's in Taiwan.. pray in Jesus' Name for healing to be upon her.. Prof mus b stress cos we're leaving soon and his sis seemed in serious condition. yet he's supposed to lead the group.. Your wisdom and strength be upon him.

hv decided my first priority these days before i leave are the SM2 students.. dunno how but Lord.. i pray You will use me to bless and love them, and encourage them as they get used to life here.. pray You will touch their lives..

perhaps ano reason feel kinda stressed is cos feel i only hv 4 more mths b4 i leave for China.. and i do hope my 4 beloved friends can be stable in You and Your family b4 i go.. perhaps i am anxious.. Lord, i give You my anxious thoughts.. talked to You jus now and You said its because i care a lot .. and i realised i do.. and i know if they are in You, they will be safe, and loved and protected, and truely blessed. brings to mind what Ps T said.. 'God may seem slow but He's never late.' and i know You are not slow.. and even tho i do care a lot.. i know You care even more.. and You love them amazingly much, as You love me.. so i commit them to You and trust..

want to thank You for amazing time at sungei buloh yest w SM2 students.. 5 of us. and thank You for lovely day today, and the sharing w my friend.. Please let Your love, peace and comfort be on him, and pray that You will make this work for good.. and that You will guard his heart, thoughts and he will look to You and grow strong in his relationship with You.. Lord Jesus, please help him, to open his heart and life to You.. and to hunger for You.

Renew my mind, Lord, that i may understand in my heart and mind, the power and importance of praying. help!

Thank You Lord, for loving me. for being my Father. for being my Shepherd. for being patient with me. Thank You Lord for saving me.

Baygon

saw a cockroach in the doorway of the bathroom while bathing yest. it jus blatently stood in the middle of the entrance! at least not facing me lah.. and looked kinda stone, full grown, but not the alert feelers always moving kind. ahh!! needless to say, was distracted n kept glancing at it! quickly bathed, even brushed teeth.

at first prayed that it would jus die without me having to do anything. then prayed it would disappear quietly from where-ever it came from (then thought maybe not too good cos den i wouldn know where it went!) it crept out of the door while i was brushing teeth. thought flashed across my brain(will i be trapped in the bathroom thinking there is a cockroach outside?) (quite similar to life hor, sometimes we are trapped in a place cos we are afraid, but the "cockroach" outside may not be even there anymore. how satan can hold us captive with lies sometimes.)

also thought, next time go china if alone got cockroach how.. ahh! so opened door gingerly and it was still there! only thing i hv is a rather small bathroom slipper!! dunno whose foot so small!!

decided to throw the slipper. prayed it wouldn move.. then threw. and slipper whacked it on the head and it turned upside down still q motionless. phew.. quick run out of bathroom.. throw the body away? err.. maybe next time..(pls hope no next time).. dad did it in the end when he came back.. shiver.. ok.. glad it turned out ok.. Thank God. :)

Power

1 Cor 1: 18 For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

this verse gave me new understanding.. cos was thinking abt the tabernacle, n how amazing that a few objects, a room.. can invite the presence of God so powerfully.. of cos, diff pple came away with diff experiences. then was thinking.. like the verse says: to a cynic, it may all seem foolishness from his scientific/proud mind. but to those who believe in God, it is the power of God that enters to transform into our lives. and the cynic has missed it. i dont want to miss it.. power or powerlessness.. what a world of difference it has made to me..

same goes to unpleasant comments i sometimes hear pple saying about God.. you know, those who think it's so cool to pass ignorant remarks about Him.. wat foolish things r said sometimes.. then we think we r so clever.. sigh.. im sorry.. forgive us. Thank You for Your mercy, and love that endures.

here's a sobering verse read out at a cell meeting 7 yrs ago..

Rev 3:17-19 "You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent.

it was as though scales fell from our eyes when the verse was read, and our hearts were convicted. His Presence came into the room. praise God for His Word.. it was amazing. which is why i still remember it..

sanc week and tabernacle

sanctification week jus finished.. its amazing.. went 3 nites out of 4.. topics were rebuilding the altar of God, of family, of worship, and of destiny.. each night there was jus an amazing presence of God, jus good to be there in His Presence.

went tabernacle yest.. b4 dat Ps H shared w us the structure of it and the meaning.. jus find it so amazing that You really really took so much pains to try to reach out to man and to reveal Jesus even in the old testament (the picture of the cross within the cross (the tabernacle within the layout of surrounding of encamping tribes, so that the picture of the cross is seen as the 12 tribes advance..).. im sorry that we are so....

even at the first station (the brazen altar, (salvation)) there was an amazing presence and a conviction of sin.. jus a feeling of... oh dear.. im such a sinful person, i could never repay my debt.. thank You for saving me, Lord.. and at the Brazen laver.. (sanctification). i was touched by the words (Jesus is the Living Water, who cleanses us, and we are cleansed by baptism, and by the Word of God). i sensed the love of God.. and was touched by the altar of incense station too (bowl of prayers).. thank You Lord.. for bringing me thru and being with me and by my side.. thank You Lord..

Rom 8: 37-39 'in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.'

Thank You for saving me and loving me.

Nice poem fr KS

A Poem Of Hope

One song can spark a moment,
One flower can wake the dream.
One tree can start a forest,
One bird can herald spring.

One smile begins a friendship,
One handclasp lifts a soul.
One star can guide a ship at sea,
One word can frame the goal.

One vote can change a nation,
One sunbeam lights a room,
One candle wipes out darkness,
One laugh will conquer gloom.

One step must start each journey,
One word must start each prayer.
One hope will raise our spirits,
One touch can show you care.

One voice can speak with wisdom,
One heart can know what's true.
One life can make the difference. You see, it's up to YOU!

mission trip meeting today

well.. today was really kinda busy at work.. afternoon suddenly got issue 2 crowns.. trim occlusion like mad.. so left work late and had to take a cab to meet prof they all.. thought id be harried(?) at end of the day.. but i was wrong.. i was v glad of heart at end of the day.. so happy.. to meet prof n the 5 D3s..

they're actually on study break, exams in 2 weeks.. i loved it dat A was there at meeting and will be going together! cos she's my good friend, really thank God.. so blessed.. tentative plan reverted. we'll finish the course in 4 days, prof will be there aft e first day(A n me go 1 day earlier).. and 2 of us can tour chengdu for 3-4 days!! maybe we'll get to see jiuzhaigou.. cool.. but these are jus plans.. maybe they'll change.. tho i hope this one works.. it sounds really good.. but Lord.. let Your will be done, let Your perfect plan take place.. only then will it all hold together and the real blessing be found. Blessed be Your Name. please help us to love the students.. and let them know You care.

yes, was saying.. it was great hanging out.. their hearts are so.. its cool hanging out w pple who love You, Lord.. encouraging.. and J lived near me and gave me a lift home.. and i got to know prof better today.. he's can be q cute and funny.. and.. well.. dunno how to describe.. perhaps jus say Your presence was there among us.. n it was sweet.

there were some moments too at work when i was ... and really ...... ... and wondered.. sigh.. guess it jus takes time.. but how much time is it going to take.. phasing again..? as wanping says, ' ... ' y do i hurry myself.. perhaps cos i don wan to be sad..