Dear Lord,
not enough days to love You.
You understand everything.
You are always there.
Thank You.

You know me completely.
You know me at my best and at my worst.
You know me when I love, in fact You probably put it there.
You know me when I have to leave it behind.
You know I'm not very good at dealing with it, I put it in a box and hide it somewhere.
And sometimes, in a quiet moment, I take it out and look through it with You.

once upon a time, you were there.
now i wont see you again till we are home.
i miss you.

went out with Wanping today and we had a good time. :)

playing the guitar + thinking about you = emo

end of year coming.. miss having you around to talk to.
its been raining non-stop these days. would prob have wrecked your car.

WP having camp.. waiting for her to finish then can talk to her too..

sigh.

met someone who reminds me of you.. it was strangely comforting. mixed.. didnt tell him cos i thot that would sound weird.. we had a really really really good time in China.. Praise God.

hello. sometimes i see a drummer and i remember you. sometimes i see someone tan who looks like you and i am reminded of you. i guess you are the first person i ever lost/said goodbye to who was close to my heart. but at least if all goes well, i will see you again in the end.. with our Father too. :)

gng to china in a week!

hello,
thought of you today, chatting with S, who is also your good friend.. Miss hanging out with you. I guess its been a year since you left to be with the Lord. It would have been fun working with you at the clinic like old times. The Lord has His ways. Who would have thought we would have gotten to hang out at S after all those years of hardly knowing each other in school. And get to have all our shared experiences later on. I am glad for all the times we had together. And also wish we could have had many more. I send my love to you. But I dont know if you can receive it.. Not sure what its like in Abraham's bosom. Are you sleeping? My knowledge not so good in that area..
byebye

hand pain after CPR.. but glad that it is done.. sigh.. painnn..

Romans 12

¹ Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. ² Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Deut 8

¹⁰ When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you. ¹¹ Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day. ¹² Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, ¹³ and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, ¹⁴ then your heart will become proud and you will forget the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. ¹⁵ He led you through the vast and dreadful wilderness, that thirsty and waterless land, with its venomous snakes and scorpions. He brought you water out of hard rock. ¹⁶ He gave you manna to eat in the wilderness, something your ancestors had never known, to humble and test you so that in the end it might go well with you. ¹⁷ You may say to yourself, “My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.” ¹⁸ But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your ancestors, as it is today.

dear bro, listening to Jay Chou makes me think of u.. Wanping got married u know.. was a lovely wedding... they look v happy tog. the brothers costumes would have gotten a reaction out of u.. :) would u have hidden in the suite to watch tv till the dinner began too? not that Wanping would have allowed u to. hah. Election is coming.. wonder who u would be supported..

been journaling last few days before coming here. not sure why but it helps me. maybe helps me to quiet down and reflect. PTL even changed the way i interact with Dragon now.. he is a good kid..

back for hardly 2 days and now i have cough..... the weather changes are hard for me to adjust... sigh.

gng TCC later.. Easter today.. never seemed to celebrate it much before.. went on an Easter egg hunt before i came back.. on the pretext of helping a little boy :) but it was so fun to be able to assist him and see his face light up when we spotted an egg and when he opened the plastic ones to find candy inside. Esp cos his mom died a few years ago so it was nice to see him smile..

mayb its silly.. but i miss you brother.. maybe its cos there was news today of another brother who suddenly left due to an accident.. another good young brother gone to Him so soon..

been having so many meetings.. work is starting in earnest again.

listening to Jay Chou.. reminds me of the times we went Karaoke with Wanping.. She's getting married soon you know..

HM plays the guitar q ok.. she played for us the other day. I tried practicing plucking the other day.. I remember how your face used to light up when you held the guitar or played music whether it was on the keyboard or drums. I guess it was something you were genuinely passionate about. And for a moment you would not be thinking of how to suan me. ha. :)

sometimes i wish we could have had more time tog.. but i know His way is best.. i wonder what you would say to that.. but the last few months you seemed to struggle so much.. wanting to fight the illness.. being disappointed each time the test result was not optimistic.. and having to find more strength to continue the fight..

I hope your last few days were good ones.

tomorrow got full day activities!

been back a week.. i like sg.. hope can come back here..

Tomo gng out with Wanping! i really appreciate having friends.. certainly one of His more precious blessings.

more or less settled in, but still get tired easily..

got to throw away some clutter in the room! want to throw more out!!! therapeutic? :)

i like clean and spacious room.. no clutter..

still need 20 CDE points.. hope to get them in April maybe.. dont seem to have any suitable ones for the time being..

i'm not exactly sure why, but all the noises are very irritating..

how weird it is when people complain frequently how poor they are and then go out and spend hundreds on themselves. I hope I wont be like that ever..

some people are more trying to get along with than others.

going back to Kunming in 2 days, then after 4 days head to sg! Can't wait to see my friends and family!!

But before that, need to :(just to remind myself)
1) do performance evaluation with Yumei
2) see if I can promote her to take over my job
3) get picture stuff from Mbeth