I've been reading a friend's blog recently. And I find what she wrote v encouraging. The Lord has used her wonderfully and given her great compassion. O her blog is here http://blog.kitesong.sg/

She has great focus. As i contemplate my present life, i find i am not so focused. Distractions, hp, fb, tv, internet. everything with a screen has become a source of distraction and a drain in time and energy because of the way i use it. With focus, a magnifying glass can start a fire. I am inspired to regain my focus in Him.

Been back for about a year. Coming close to settling in a church? Hope so.. I guess i am trying hard to settle down. That's what i do, in my usual detached fashion. We bought a home, which is still being built. I think we gave finding a church, finding jobs, a good shot. Im glad Isc has found a passion/hobby/possible career choice in flying. Not many pple find something they thoroughly enjoy. I hope he can pursue it.

After swimming in a wide expanse, can a fish go back to living in a fish bowl? Sometimes i feel like that. I dont know what to focus on. Maybe i dont want to see/not ready yet? What if there is nothing to see? surely that is not possible right? a lot of dont know. Actually i sense there are things to do. Maybe I am not ready yet.

They are right. There is such a thing as re-entry. It takes time to move on. Even from good things. There has been so much change in the past few years for us. I wanted to believe that i was returning to something that has stayed the same. But everything has changed. Thank God for the precious few things that have remained or even gotten better. It has had its rough patches. But i am aware we are still v blessed and His hand is still upon us. I thank Him for the new things. In the past years, there has been much pain, loss, heartache. Also much thankfulness. n lessons. For a while mayb I just didnt want to feel anything. Is this part of re-entry? The country has changed so much too.. that doesnt help..

I'm not sure what it will take to be/stay focused. Sometimes i take the easy way out and numb myself with distractions. Sometimes i wonder if i shld just give up trying to settle down and devise plans to go elsewhere. But i wonder if that would be just me trying to distract/entertain myself with other things. If the motivation is not right, i dare not go. Remember Moses dared not go to the Promised Land without Him. Re-entry is kinda like jetlag, you feel out of sorts n out of sync.. 

We get so used to doing things out there. Doing, doing. Actually we are firstly His children. Children dont need to do anything to be His children and to enjoy Him, and for Him to enjoy us. Sometimes doing things may even be our false sense of security. But it is for naught. I find it difficult to not do things. to just be. I have changed too.

I miss the students. I wonder how they are doing. and because there is nothing much I can do, when I remember them, I commit them to Him.

Starfish. Sometimes there are so many needs in the world. Its hard to remember we are starfish.