He came back to see me, and i gave him something to read. PTL. 

something bad happened recently.. and they need forensic dntsts.. it reminded me of the time you went to Aceh.. to help identify bodies.. we spoke almost every night.. we never spoke much of the horrors you saw.. we prayed.. even the volunteers needed counselling they said.. this time its very tragic again.. many good people..

If we do not follow Him, we will be like the fishermen who fished all night, expending all our energy with long hours and nothing to show for it..

If we follow Him, we will put out nets down when He says so, and in minutes haul in so many fish that the nets almost break.

If when He tells us to put our nets down , we refuse to listen, we will have no fish.

I Am in the boat with you.
when the waves are crashing outside,
I Am in the boat with you.

Isaac says: humility leads to holiness..

hmm. i guess my love language really is time.

feel like i want to take another long break.. attended an event recently where the photographer was kinda in-your-face about taking photos.. makes you wonder if the focus is on the event or on taking photographs.. how many photos of the exact same thing do you need anyway..

oo on a happy note, YM said her husband is gng to church with her and CY is pregnant. :) maybe i will get to see WX soon..

B surprised me w a pair of tickets to Maleficent today. which he didnt want to watch but he knew i wanted to. :)

i gave some money to a friend's NGO last month to support relocation of some families in another country. and it just occurred to me that the cheque one of my bosses gave me for last month was twice what it usually is, and the extra is about the same amount as what i gave my friend!

God's grace is amazing. another reminder He is my provider, and no man's debtor.

I met my love when I was 16. He had been waiting for me my whole life. He knew me before I even knew me. I met him briefly, but I really got to know him better at 17. He has never left me. He will be the greatest love of all loves. My greatest companion and my Hero. Thank You.

today at service, there was a call for a thanksgiving offering. and as i thought about it, i was thinking .. id like to give.. but should i decide who to give to? after all i know of a few v good NGOs or missionaries that would be v good 'causes' to support.. pple and org who i know are doing His will in steadfast faith that i could give to. maybe i should wait and contact them after service in the following days? Pastor had not said how the offering given would be handled..

The Lord spoke to me.. that this is not the spirit in which i should be giving.. trying to analyse who is a 'worthy' cause to give to in my human mind.. as tho the little financial offering means anything at all to the King who owns the cattle on a thousand hills..

He told me.. give to Me, and I will give to them.. (all the good pple and org that were running through my mind.)

I have no biblical basis on which to base this on.. but i believe there is a spiritual/heart currency that is produced when we give to Him in simple faith. And that is a currency that He can use. i find that when we give to the church and not to the Lord, it produces problems like dissensions and differences of opinion over expenditure. and i have seen many fall into that trap. Rather, give to Him, and find rest knowing that your small offering will go to exactly where He wants it to go.

thoughts on today's sermon Mark 14 ( the woman who broke open the alabaster jar of nard)
- what is your alabaster jar, would you give it to Him. time.. pride..
- she valued the Lord as worth more than the value of the alabaster jar, unlike the people.
- the people criticized her harshly . sometimes people may criticize/misunderstand you when you serve the Lord.
- maybe her actions challenged them and made them look bad , hence their reaction. Sometimes, our reactions can reveal what is in our hearts..

had tuition today. 2 hours of indices! n we are still not done!.. phew. i think she was tired too. mayb next time take a break after 1.5 hours.. SH is v bright. hope this year is a good year for her.

was reading some of my old posts, and found them encouraging.. feel that the person 8 yrs ago was more chipper then i feel now. but a lot of the verses i wrote back then still encouraged me when i read them. like this one..

The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still. Exodus 14: 14

Newness. was thinking today. i used to relate more emotionally, and then for a period in China i was in charge of stuff and wld be q task for periods. i think both extremes are not good. but if one shld err.. it wld be better to err on the gentle side..

Newness. need to find some newness in the way i look at things. and also to be under His covering. and look at things looking out from under His covering..

having yr end blues.. thought i would list down what we were doing this yr..

spent a few mths thinking we were gng to USA long term, and living like we were.. decided we were not gng to go usa long term.. and changing our mindset to staying.. changed church in the mid-yr mark.. went to USA for 2 mths.. explored multiple tuition options, met up a couple of them, still nothing yet.. bank loan got disbursed this year.. Wanx came to sg! CY got married! Isaac went to china for a week.. our new house is nearing completion.. somehow the thought of moving is kinda stressful.. more changes again.. got an NTUC card.. consolidated our billing system.. tweaked my schedule agn.. did x and y and z.

actually im still kinda undecided abt the new X. some elements are kinda disturbing. i just dont really get it yet. some things they do are kinda cool, but some ideas they have are kinda disturbing.

just thinking abt what we did this yr makes me tired.

CY getting married! :)
next yr suppose to move to our new home :)
we are adjusting to the new fellowship. Been good so far..
thinking abt our china friends today. i miss them..

This week had some news of CY, Xiao Peng , ZZF.. last week i hung out with WX for a bit. I do miss them. Was so glad to hear from them and relatively good news.
CY wrote me a nice letter about how she appreciated our help and care and prayers the past 3 years. She said she had learnt to care for others as well as reflect on her own actions. Im so glad she completed her studies, and has grown through the experiences. She does sound more mature and more developed in her thought processes.
ZZF wrote me a nice letter and YM sent me a photo of it. He is so sweet. He said his handwriting not nice, hope I can read it. I thought his handwriting was like mine. What made it extra precious is I know he is not academically inclined and probably took some time to write every word, which would be more challenging with his one good eye.. He said I will always be their big sister. And he mentioned being thankful to know about Him. How precious. It really warmed my heart.
CY mentioned Xiao Peng fellowships with her group regularly, and that he is well. Though she did not say much more, I am glad for this little bit of news. I do hope that I can see them again, hopefully along the way on a short trip some day soon..
Dear Lord, please bless them and keep them in You. May they know You are with them and be the strength of their hearts. Amen.

i just wanted to record that the speaker released the word joy, joyfulness on me. That was what came to her as she was praying for me.

The Lord's words are so precious. :)

flying on friday! and Isc is the pilot!

I watched 4 seasons of vampire diaries for the past week! :p

also, looking back, i do enjoy doing pilates.

a few thoughts came to me today.. He spoke to me about starting anew again. stop looking at the past, leave it behind. look forward and start anew. look around me at what i have, and decide what i want to put into this new life. have thankfulness, and new excitement.

well i guess i do want to have more exercise and deliberate healthy eating. also some community service. Thankful to hv Isc with me and all he is. Thankful for my friends who kept in touch. thankful for a place to stay and my job and its hours. hopefully we will settle down in church.

i also want to say only positive things. refrain from negativity. when i was in charge of a project, i was constantly evaluating and reevaluating the project and how to do it better etc.. unfortunately it made my reflex action to try to fix things and made me more critical. i dont want to be like that.. wat a stressful way to live. to keep turning things over in the mind and pick at it.. i pray for more thankfulness and being present, less detachment.

new beginnings. approach with a clean slate. hopefully will cut down on screen time.. sigh. too much screen time. makes me feel like a usb thing plugged into the computer..