suddenly..

does anyone really care..

i know got lah.. so.. guess that means i'm jus whining.. maybe tired after day of swimming..

i guess..

more dolphins

went swimming w dolphins today w parents! at batam. day trip. the dolphins were v cute and friendly.. they jump and click and kiss you.. and they do somersaults and catch ball/hoops.. we also held onto their fin and they will drag u along the water.. its q cool. abt $160 each i think.. dad's treat.. they are sooo cute.. and friendly like puppies, they will surface when they see you and follow u around in the enclosure..

www.dolphinslodge.com

wonder who will go HK w me.. will i go by myself.. hmm..

more forms to fil up again.. recieved the main one fr china today.. many qns.. Father..

duckies

yaay! my cousin replied, i can stay w him when in HK.. his wife is overseas.. he says lots of space.. startin to get excited abt gng..

last day of work soon.. 30th june.. thinkin of locum.. but also don know.. only for a month.. perhaps on some morns.. in case i get bored.. and everyone is working cant go play w them either.. den earn pocket money too? or jus rest at home, finish my books i'm reading halfway..? think i could devise a decent timetable.. can go blade, prac guitar too. hmm.. need some more thot..

the other day.. decided to pray that at the right time, God would help him meet the right person.. and he would have a family of his own.. cos i know thats one of his best dreams.. and he really loves children.. i think he'd be a good father..

okie.. gtg for now..

Mort the mouse Lemur

watched madagascar the other day.. Mort is soooo cute!! ah!!

ooh.. KS finally has a blog.. check it on my link..

need to plan my Hongkong trip to make visa.. pray i will not procrastinate. last day of work is 30th June. funny feeling being unemployed..

stuff to do.. off on mon! :) and on 23rd, go w mummy and daddy to batam to swim w dolphins!(mummy bday on that day too)

wonder if i can go china by late july.. its already 17th june.. Dear Lord.. keep my eyes on You.

back

back fr cell retreat! it was good. esp appreciate the sharing of my fellow sisters-in-christ.. :)

we did overview of book of Joshua.. for once, now i understand it better as a whole rather than in bits and pieces of blessed portions. glad.

noticed something cool in my chinese-english bible.. each time, before the chinese word that represents God ("shen"), is written, there is a blank space. eg. For (blank space) God so loved the world.. its like a special reverence for Him.. so cool..

LY wrote back to tell me how to make visa in HK.. wah.. sounds a bit like maze.. cos haven been to HK before.. jus need to go to this place.. heard HK is q big.. shall check which part it is in..

Thank You Father. ;)

its late

its late. 1221. jus stoned for an hour. literally. okies. stoned with my Father. He asked me. "do i believe He can catch me.."

how to answer.. now thinkin.. perhaps it can also be seen as a challenge..

how do i get there.. can i take it.. really. there are so many things i dont know.

He promise He'll be there.

exodus 14:14

hmm. there's this person/system that smses me bible verses from time to time.. usu late at nite (like now). have tried on occasion to call back on the number, but either no one picks up, or there was once a lady picked up and insisted she had not smsed me.. so eventually i jus left it at that..

well i jus received an sms again and here's the verse:

Exodus 14:14 "The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."

yea.. a verse God spoke to me jus 3 postings ago.. q stunned.

well also went to visit Q today.. good time hanging out and shared the story of Jesus with her.. she said she would like to know more.. Jus glad for the opportunity to talk with her and spend time tog.. :)

dolphin

home early on a sat nite.. at 930? dunno.. gues no one can really b with you all the time.. sigh.. but was real fun hanging out w Q today. we went blading.. which is something i do every other weekend.. but first time w her. and she came for service for first time too. many pple not ard today, some at TCT, some overseas.. but it worked out alrite. den can spend some time w her aft service too. :)

nice hanging out w D too. the weekly 2 hr prayer meetings.. had good time with J. thought it would be xiong.. but, it was fine in end.

tryin to watch for His timing.. not be faster, not be slower.. not be anxious..

a thot. D asked me why humans mus have emotions.. i told him God has emotions.. and God can cry. n i realised. its true.. Jesus cried when he was on earth.. He cried for us.

what makes God cry.?

Luke 19:41
As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it..

in all of heaven and earth.. i think only we can make God cry.. who are we really.. that God would cry over us.. and give all He has.. His only Son.

butterfly

thinkin.. and it hit me.. been talking to God about prayer in this period.. asking Him how to pray effectively.. cos dunno why had been jus feeling rather vague about prayer.. perhaps cos been praying less than i used to for a long while.. anyway, hit me that pastor has been talking abt prayer for the past 2 weeks in service.. so, feeling glad that the God i talk to at home when im alone is the same God that speaks to pastor.. yah. may sound abstract.. but i find it comforting and touched, and thankful to my Father when i realised it.. sort of like He reminding me that He is with me..

one of the things pastor mentioned was the first line of the Lord's prayer.. "our Father.. hallowed be Your Name.." to pray first by acknowledging God (our relationship with Him) and giving praise to God.. yah.. so i tried it today.. and tho it sounded strange at first.. as i praised God and reflected on His wonder, on the Person that He is (eg. 'praise You Father, for Your faithfulness, for Your creation, for Your majesty..").. i felt better and more aligned with Him even before i had started praying for any agenda that i had.. its like.. you see what a wonderful Father you have.. and the things that trouble you will take on its correct perspective and become smaller.. reverence, awe come in.. and i remembered Jesus and thankfulness came in too..

reminded me of years ago when i had done the same.. yah, used to pray like dat too yrs ago.. hmm.. amazing.. no wonder God ask us to start praying like that.

sigh.. need more discipline mann.. awareness of the battle within.. indeed, the good i know to do i struggle to do.. i know if i look to the Spirit, He will give me strength.. need to decide to look more often..

its been a long week.. activities.. prayer meet, dental talk, cell, out w frens.. yah.. glad to take it slower? friday.. felt a bit down.. mayb tired.. watching too much tv.. a couple of frens had stress yest *sayang*.. was a bit frus w ano fren today.. yah.. not really sure wat to do, do more, do less, keep praying?..

got a drink jus now.. ice cube fell and poked my foot and there was a small cut.. can u believe it.. i was like.. oh mann.. blood came out and so went to room then remembered i may feel faint during first 10 mins of seein my own blood (when i injure myself).. oh mann again.. then hypothesised maybe feel down cos 5 pm and i'm hungry..

yah.. now at home typing and thinking.. glad to be home to rest too.. LY sent me a cd..

exodus

went out w the popiahs today! and we took neo prints.. keke.. its real cute.. and came across the coolest verse.! Exodus 14: 14

Exodus 14: 13-14
13 Moses answered the people, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.

14 The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."

Wow..

Psalm 50

for KS: the cattle on a thousand hills is verse 10.. :) the rest i put down cos.. thought it was really beautiful to me too..

Psalm 50: 1-15
1 The Mighty One, God, the LORD, speaks and summons the earth from the rising of the sun to the place where it sets.
2 From Zion, perfect in beauty, God shines forth.
3 Our God comes and will not be silent; a fire devours before him, and around him a tempest rages.
4 He summons the heavens above, and the earth, that he may judge his people:
5 "Gather to me my consecrated ones, who made a covenant with me by sacrifice."
6 And the heavens proclaim his righteousness, for God himself is judge.
7 "Hear, O my people, and I will speak, O Israel, and I will testify against you: I am God, your God.
8 I do not rebuke you for your sacrifices or your burnt offerings, which are ever before me.
9 I have no need of a bull from your stall or of goats from your pens,
10 for every animal of the forest is mine, and the cattle on a thousand hills.
11 I know every bird in the mountains, and the creatures of the field are mine.
12 If I were hungry I would not tell you, for the world is mine, and all that is in it.
13 Do I eat the flesh of bulls or drink the blood of goats?
14 Sacrifice thank offerings to God, fulfill your vows to the Most High,
15 and call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me."

hmm. touched.

my sis jus helped me download my kunming retreat photos onto her laptop and CD.. cos cant find the USB(wats a USB?) on my desk top..

then.. she came to my room, gave me a cheque and said it was to prepare for my china trip.. and i haven even started to write my prayer letter yet.. well.. we've never even spoken abt my trip before.. have to admit.. i'm touched.

job

sent in my resignation letter yesterday.. last day of work, 30th June..

at first thinking dunno want to extend for a month or so for the bonus, think think think.. then thought in the end.. just resign. if its time, its time. trust God. remembered Ps Mak shared God asked him to resign and join church last time at the time when it was a bull run for e stockmarket(where he was workin).. he left at a time when he could have made a lot of money.. the cattle on a thousand hills belong to Him.

he who had gathered much had no excess, and he who had gathered little had no lack..
Exodus 16:18

thought this was such a cool verse on how we may rest in our Lord..

Kim Seng came back on wed (25th may)... welcome back! :) gng back to USA on the 12 or 14th june. he bought DFS XO for dad, which i paid him later for of cos.. thanks for thinkin of my dad..

star wars

went to watch star wars today! smsed a few pple and found dear Xianhua who could watch it today w me. :) quite fun lah.. hee. Yoda is v funny.. but Anakin became bad. oh dear.. and the very person he wanted to save was lost as a result of his deceived choice.. if only he had waited/talked more to his teacher..

went shoppin after dat.. need to find a pink dress for J's wedding.. all the 'sister's' promised to wear pink.. how to not look like birthday cake! anyway had looked for one previously to no avail.. so today sent a prayer up to God that i would find one fast cos parking coupon only left 1/2 hour, plus dont like to fritter too much time on shopping.. thankfully, found it! and only had to try 3 dresses. Thank You, Father, for caring even for such small things in my life. yah. thank You for caring.

okies, gng to play chess w P now..

=)

dear Lord, i had a lot of fun last weekend, including yest when i was on leave. enjoyed hanging out with my friends. and been talking to Wanping more recently too. hee. then today a bit sleepy. maybe cos play so much. but wan to thank You. thank You also for my clinic and all the nice people in it. esp my super dental asst, who looks after all of us and is v hardworking.. thank You for today when i was sleepy but also hungry, den couldn decide whether to go cookhouse or sleep, and lunch arrived early so i didnt need to walk out anymore. den i noticed it was pouring outside.. felt Your care.. im meeting Ps on thursday.. hope it will be a productive time.. some things happened to some of my friends.. Father, i pray You will protect them and walk them through their situations, and make good things come out of it. for whatever was meant for evil, God can turn it around for good.

Genesis 50:20 ('message' version)
Don't you see, you planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good, as you see all around you right now--life for many people.

jus believe

Lynette once shared tt K told her this. about the cell/ministry. our job is not to.. but just to believe God. our job is to believe God, for the cell, for the pple etc. thot it was so encouraging. so wan to remember it.

happened to call L today, turns out we both read the same passage for devotion time today. how cool its that mann.. one of the verse that struck me was ' Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life' (Jn 4: 13)

also read abt the royal official who asked Jesus to heal his v ill son. thinking.. he was a royal official.. he mus hv had to put down his pride to come and implore Jesus to heal his son. and yet if he hadnt, his son would have died. and after his son was healed, he might have dismissed it as coincidence(?), but he didnt. he and his household believed. and they were saved, not just the son but the whole household. not jus physical, but restored to health in the spirit as well. it is so important to believe God. also thinkin.. for the rest of his life, the son would remember how Jesus healed him when he almost died.. Father, that You may use us. that signs and wonders would accompany us as we share Your truth. that people would encounter You among us.

there were 10 lepers. all 10 were healed of leprosy. but only one came back to thank Jesus, and he was saved. 10 received physical healing, only one received life.

i dont know

i dont know Lord, but im sure glad You do..

i dont know what.. i dont know why.. i dont know how.. i dont know if.. i dont know.

i give all these i dont knows to You. hee. please keep me with You. Father i pray You would guide my time.. and i do love Your revelation.. beginning to recognise testimonies of faith around me. it sO cOoL. You have made my heart glad in the middle of i dont knows. praises to You. sweet. =)

late nites

been sleeping late past few nites, chatting w wanping, tonight went to visit the members at encounter.. slept at 2 yest, and now its 0217! not insomnia.. jus feelin hyper.. don know why.

mayb cos im on leave on mon. hee. long weekend.. den next week mon is holiday! yay!

today God taught me a bit on prayer.. read the booklet chap 2. prayer is birthed from desire. interesting.. been saying dat word a lot recently.. interesting. it can be used to describe so many things. hmm. den read the carlos annacondia book a bit and was q blown away by how there's so much faith and reality of God as he shares testimony after testimony. the power and authority of God that is given to us. to set people free. if only we understood it. how it would change the world if we did. Father, i want to understand it..

haiz. dunno why. prayed for a girl today, and found tearing with her as i did. then later cry again when was prayed for. think it is just You. but i was very glad. cos i felt a return to watching and waiting for You and praying as You led.

learned that.. it is the time you spend praying/interceding in private, that can allow you to pray undistracted and in the Spirit, both inside and outside home. and the same relationship enables you to be effective in leading worship. ponder what does r'ship need to grow.. time spent, trust, openness in sharing, mutual conversation, understanding, care, shared experiences... so it is also with our r'ship with You.

raindrops on roses.. wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings..

Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls.. ps 42:7

I love you, O LORD, my strength. ps 18:1
David loved God.. he just said it out.. have always thot it is such an intimate glimpse into how he felt towards You.. not the kingship, not the material comforts, not the wars he has won.. but just this.. he loves You, O Lord, his strength.. a living relationship, esteemed above all he had or had achieved in this earth.. hmm.

dear Lord, thank You for the fellowship tonight, and for all You have done and continue to do in this encounter. for all our members, and R who is attending a sep one.. Praise and worship to You. =)

more verses i wan to remember

Eph 1: 17-23
I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.

That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms,
far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come.

And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.

Eph 2:4-7
But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.

And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.

focusing on how God has placed all things in subjection under the feet (in fact, He is "far above" ) of Jesus, and He raised us to be seated with Him, so in the Lord, all things are in subjection under our feet too. hmm..

also on how our Father has great love for us.. rich mercy.. and kindness.

dear Father, in the same way (as Paul prayed), i also pray You will give me the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that i may know You better. that the eyes of my heart may be enlightened in order that i may know the hope to which You have called me, the riches of Your glorious inheritance in the saints, and Your incomparably great power for us who believe. dear Father.. suddenly seems like there's still so much i dont know about You.. as though i've barely scratched the surface and my knowledge is so inadequate and superficial.. and that many things i thought i knew about You were just shadows compared to the true intensity of You.
thinking of what Ian said.. Our God is a consuming fire. An awfulness, an awesomeness of power.

suddenly feel i'm so lacking/clumsy in my handling of Your Word.. Father, please teach me.. basically a cry for help to You. quite jia lat leh.. after so many years..=" perhaps inspired by what Wanping said about going bible college herself if Ps D doesnt send her..

verses

Matt 5:3..
Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God."

Matt 7:7-11
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"

thot these were v interesting verses.. suddenly seemed like i saw them again in new light.. reminded of how God is our Father(Jesus said so too!) and how our Father's heart is to pour out His good gifts to us.. like He just can't wait to bless us with more good things.. if only we ask.. and asking.. also expresses our relationship.. thinking.. its a relationship after all..

also thinking about how God is the King. King of heaven and earth. King over all. and He is a King who rules. and in His grace, He wants us to rule with Him. How amazing.